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[Recommend] Epic Amazon Review of Aerobie Epic

bigdan

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Joined
Aug 11, 2013
Messages
28
Just saw this five star review on Amazon. As insane as the Epic, perhaps.

Frightened by this Disc

I never thought I'd be here quivering, cowering in the blackest crevice of my dwelling, frazzling with fright and scribbling this review. "The Aerobie Epic is only a myth," I'd heard so many times before. But according to believers, this disc could soar through time and space with the ravishing finesse of a raving gypsy's hips. Cautious whispers around the course warned listeners of saucers spewing forth dark magic vortexes within the violent whirlwinds of a vicious "thumber" drive. I scoffed at such fanciful tales of plastic acrobatics and occultist wind sails. Superstitions cannot persuade me; I am a man of science, you see! But the same unyielding curiosity that brought you to this page led me to purchase one and see, just in case.

Thirty-seven suns have since succumbed to the horizon. My perception of this universe, and the laws that make it one, has transformed irreversibly, I dare say. The only scientific explanation for the flight path of this product -- a 500 foot cosmic pirouette -- is that which disturbs my slumber every shivery night of the southern summer. I feel a personal responsibility to share the findings of my keen inquiry. While all other discs, whose flights expire humbly after a mere 380 feet, are made of compact plastic polymers, the Epic almost certainly comprises antimatter.

Soon, undoubtedly, military machinery will exploit Aerobie's discoveries (i.e.: those unveiled by the Epic's release). The only question now to ask is: how much time do we have left? Let us hope and pray that this technology is used for good, and never evil. For weaponized antimatter could end us all, efficiently, faster than light. Godspeed!!
 
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SUPERLULZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D
 
The person who wrote this review won't be very happy once he/she hits a few trees with their Epic, turning it into an epic fail. Funny review none the less
 
The person who wrote this review won't be very happy once he/she hits a few trees with their Epic, turning it into an epic fail. Funny review none the less

Wow. Why so serious?

Don't tell me you bought/thought about buying one of these based off the reviews too. :D
 
in summary: This person routinely throws 380ft and is able to throw 500ft with the epic.


The review fails to mention if the 380 ft is actually overhand distance, but the reader can assume it is.
 
fare thee well, oh slayer of hyzers, thumbers and putts. 'tis the dark night of the soul upon whose lucid dreams co-mingle with the off axis torque of divine haberdashers and spitoons
 
Wow. Why so serious?

Don't tell me you bought/thought about buying one of these based off the reviews too. :D

Well in all honesty...I fell into peer pressure. A few friends & I all bought one & at first it was great for overhand distance even though it was very inconsistent when it came to accuracy. Then I hit some trees & within a week of my purchase no matter how I tuned it it sucked. Hell even the first day I bought it it sucked at forehand & backhand. Never again...
 
I will say this, if they made pre-tuned epics, one for a left flight, and one for a right flight in premium plastics, I might just consider picking them up again. I too fell victim to this disc and have had some of those beautiful 500+ ft. shots as well, but as stated, once it hits something, it is no longer the beautiful flyer that it once was, instead it becomes an additional obstacle on the course. Will it go left? Will it go right? Is it gonna go 200' or 500' this time? As much as I hate this disc, I am still the only person that I know of that has hit an ace with one, and for that I am proud!
 
The person who wrote this review won't be very happy once he/she hits a few trees with their Epic, turning it into an epic fail. Funny review none the less

37 suns have succumbed to the horizon, tho'...so I'm guessing he's hit something by now. :D
 
:clap: Great review for entertainment purposes! I want to read more from this guy/girl. :popcorn:
 
:clap: Great review for entertainment purposes! I want to read more from this guy/girl. :popcorn:

Thanks Kenny, and everyone else who laughed or smiled reading this. I guess I'll admit it, I wrote the review yesterday. Thought I should share it with the in-crowd, since nobody visits that Amazon page anyways. I made some edits today after reading it again, if you're interested. And if anyone wants to give my review a thumbs up (so it doesn't get buried on the page), here's a link: http://www.amazon.com/Aerobie-Epic-Golf-Disc-Color/dp/B001EYIQZW/ref=cm_rdp_product

I had to pay homage to my new favorite disc. It literally added 100 feet to my drive and refueled my excitement for the sport. I know the plastic wears out quickly, but that's why I have five Epics, each tuned a bit differently. Thanks again fellas. Godspeed!
 
So dude writes the review and then starts a thread acting like he just discovered said review? Uh, okay...

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