Disc Golfing with a Panic Disorder

[412Disc]

Pretty neat, thanks!

 

[Uncle Dougie]

I have been dealing with panic disorder for the past 12 years. I was on 20mg paxil for the first 4 years and then weened off. Recently put back on them. I was great for a while and then last year I relapsed and had the worst attacks ever. They are nothing but horrific. For those who have never had to deal with this disorder, I wouldn't wish it on my own worse enemy. I was afraid it would interrupt my disc golf and it did for a bit until I got back on my medication. I had blood tests done and was told I was fine. It's real embarrasing to drive yourself to the emergency room and have them tell you nothing is wrong. It's expensive too...

I can sympathize.

ps...I also keep a prescription of xanax in the bag just in case i need it..

diagnosed with GAD with borderline agoraphobia.

 

[Uncle Dougie]

I'm just glad I'm not alone...It's hard to explain the feeling of hot oil dripping (only way i can describe it) from the top of your head and then all over your body when you start going into full blown attacks. Thank you to OP.

 

[bucky926]

I'm just glad I'm not alone...It's hard to explain the feeling of hot oil dripping (only way i can describe it) from the top of your head and then all over your body when you start going into full blown attacks. Thank you to OP.

I feel you. Sometimes when I'm putting, it feels like water is dripping down the back of my head and my arms. Then the tingling, shaking, heart racing, sweating, and disassociation. It really sucks, and is impossible to explain to people. I love that awkward moment when I open my bag and my klonopin rolls out. People are like, "hey, can I get some of that?" And I have to come up with some weird excuse as to why I carry around a bottle of pills.

 

[Uncle Dougie]

I feel you. Sometimes when I'm putting, it feels like water is dripping down the back of my head and my arms. Then the tingling, shaking, heart racing, sweating, and disassociation. It really sucks, and is impossible to explain to people. I love that awkward moment when I open my bag and my klonopin rolls out. People are like, "hey, can I get some of that?" And I have to come up with some weird excuse as to why I carry around a bottle of pills.

The dissociation and depersonalization are the worst. That is when it really kicks in. It may only last a few minutes but it feels like the end, or the "impending doom" as they term it.

Last summer I got bad when there was a big storm rolling through. We were far from hole 18 and the wind and thunder was just stirring me up. I wanted to just lay down in the bushes.

 

[DiscOh]

This was a great read! Thanks for sharing.

 

[billnchristy]

I can't begin to understand this so I won't try. I think I have had a similar situation happen to me but it was related to withdrawals from medication in the hospital. After I had my accident where I lost my index finger I was heavy on dilodid and other hardcore psuedo-morphines. They released me and of course had to quit cold turkey. I had no idea the stuff had even affected me until bed time.

Suddenly things turned awful ugly. I saw my wife gnawing on my missing finger, it was dark with the lights on and it was raining in my room. It was so real I could feel it on my face. Things came in and out of my consciousness. I was afraid that I would never be able to lay down again, it was the most horrifiying night of my life and I assume I eventually cried myself to sleep.

So...what I am saying here is, even though your boat is your own we can probably all find a time where we might have felt like that.

I always tried to tell my girlfriend in the past that everyone's worst situation is their worst. You can't tell someone that you have had more pain or suffering because their maximum is their experience. I may have never been in war or had the trauma of being shot at, but the memory of chopping my own finger off will never leave me (shudders thinking). Just like your worst attack is something you don't relish.

So never feel alone in pain, we have all suffered to our own personal limit, it is the one thing we truly do all share.

Our most happy and our most sad are our own absolutes and we can share those with each other and relate on that level.

 

[Connor Jones]

I always tried to tell my girlfriend in the past that everyone's worst situation is their worst. You can't tell someone that you have had more pain or suffering because their maximum is their experience. I may have never been in war or had the trauma of being shot at, but the memory of chopping my own finger off will never leave me (shudders thinking). Just like your worst attack is something you don't relish.

This is literally something I live by, no one is less than when it comes to pain.

 

[Uncle Dougie]

The way I look at this is that it's hard to just come out and talk about these things. I only did because I felt compelled and understand where the OP is coming from..I find that most people are miseducated on this subject and try to psychoanalyze others as if they were an authority on the matter. My family is an example of this and I always have to hear them say, "Just don't think about it". Well, if it were that easy, I would.

 

[billnchristy]

Just understand that they aren't being insensitive or a-holes they are just completely ignorant because it really is one of those "you had to be there" things.

 

[Uncle Dougie]

Just understand that they aren't being insensitive or a-holes they are just completely ignorant because it really is one of those "you had to be there" things.

This is true...With panic disorder it is constant. Like always there and its there when you think it isn't. It's a "you had to be there" on repeat.

 

[vonDrehle]

It's always nice when you are in a bad mood and someone tells you your pills aren't working

 

[WillGrrr]

As though you needed someone else to point it out.

 

[vonDrehle]

As though you needed someone else to point it out.

Yeah... You completely wiffed on that one.

 

[WillGrrr]

Nope. I was referring to the extreme self-referential nature of anxiety/ panic disorders. Who's the one who most acutely points out how badly you're doing?
It was a poor joke on top of yours, but still true.

 

[vonDrehle]

What I was saying that it was people being insensitive saying you were in a bad mood because your meds were not working instead of simply being in a bad mood. To me it's like telling the person that you only care for them when they are medicated with all sorts of things.

 

[JedV]

*Bump*

I came across Bucky926's blog when reading the What should happen to quitters thread.

The blog is definitely worth a read. There hasn't been a new post in a month, but hopefully there'll be a new entry soon. I too have my struggles with anxiety, however they are somewhat different. All the best, man. Your writing is very refreshing inspirational.

 

[bucky926]

Thanks for the bump man. I did slack off for a bit, but I started posting a lot more recently. Lyme Disease and life have kept me from posting but I have a lot to write in the next few weeks.