martygregwah
Newbie
This is the first post from my DG blog. Check it out any time by going to martygregoire.blogspot.com.
For those of you who don't know him, @elnolando (AKA Big Bill Pondo)is truly a unique character. His disc golf skills can range from a highly inebriated intermediate player to that of a small female toddler, who is also very, very drunk. This is the story of one of his favorite discs, the infamous beat to all hell Pink DX Wraith, known to the #Lanon crew as simply, Pinkie.
Pinkie was purchased at The Magic Bus in Indianapolis, a head shop that happens to sell discs as well. I imagine when Bill saw this ****ty DX Wraith he was already visualizing all the future aces he would get with it's truly unpredictable flight, and overall awfulness. He purchased this disc and took it immediately to one of the local Indy courses.
After hitting one tree, Bill was shocked to see that the disc was already heavily scarred, beat up, and useless. He tried to return it to The Magic Bus shortly after the round, claiming low quality and durability as a valid reason for a refund. As any rational disc golfer would expect, they laughed him out of the store, likely wondering why he purchased a lightweight DX Wraith for use exclusively in heavily wooded courses.
Big Bill didn't let it bother him, and continued to throw Pinkie for many months, years even. I had been living in Arizona for a couple of years and was shocked to see this disc still being thrown when I moved back to Indiana. I knew I had no choice but to put a stop to the throwing of this disc. It would make him a better golfer I thought to myself. I was wrong about that, but the story continues nonetheless.
A few months ago the #Lanon crew met up to play a round at Brookside Park. Bill parked his car next to mine, placed his bag on the ground, and walked over to shoot the **** with @dogvsraptor, @weiner_fingers, and a few others. I could see that piece of **** pink disc sitting in his bag. To add to the insult of the presence of this awful disc, it was in a bag that I had to give him so he would quit carrying 8 discs in a stack every god damn round. I saw my opportunity, grabbed the disc from his bag, and threw it into my trunk where it would blend in with the other 100 or so discs that were in there.
A few holes in, Bill reached into his bag looking for Pinkie and was confused by its absence. He quickly came to the conclusion that he must have drunkenly left it on a hole on one of the previous rounds that week. Standard #pro****. I had at this point already informed everyone else that I had hijacked Pinkie, and we all had to keep from laughing while watching him try to figure out what hole a few days ago he had lost it on.
I had no real intentions to do anything with the disc, other than keep it, thus preventing him from throwing it. When the #LanonBagTags made their appearance we realized after a few tag rounds that we needed one more tag. Until we had a new tag, whoever finished last would get no tag.
The idea came to me to take Pinkie, draw out a design on it, and slice it into a tag shape. This would work out great if we could play a course where we knew Bill had a chance to finish last. The plan was to wait until he finished last, then present him with the tag made from his long lost disc, Pinkie. I texted this idea to @dogvsraptor, and he agreed it was pure ****ing gold. #LanonToTheMaximum if you will.
The plan was nearly foiled when I accidentally copied Bill on a text to @dogvsraptor. It went something like this...
"I hope Bill gets last today so we can present him with the tag made from that ****ty Pink Wraith of his. It will be priceless"
Bill responded to the text, and somehow bought my reply that it was just a joke, and that I really had no idea where that stupid disc was. He even brought it up again a month or so later. But I stood my ground, stating I don't have it, and if I did I would have thrown it in a dumpster where it belongs by now.
Yesterday we finally had the opportunity to pull off what we had been planning for so long. Unfortunately, we still hadn't cut Pinkie into the shape we had planned. I picked up @dogvsraptor and Scott Ellis, who is the bearded near-Amish designer of the Sheriff tags you may have already seen on Twitter. We picked up Bill last, giving us time to cut the disc in the car with an X-Acto knife. Scott even had to put the final touches on while Bill was riding in the back seat.
6 of us met at Northwestway Park for a #LanonBagTags round. We were playing the course with new OB lines, knowing full well that this would easily put Bill in the running for last place. The round started out pretty even, but Big Bill took a quadruple bogey on hole 6. With the 7 on his card, and the standard heavy drinking, we knew we were golden.
The final hole ended in near darkness around 9:30pm. We counted up the scores and sure enough Bill finished last. @dogvsraptor gave me the go ahead. "Why don't you give Bill the last place tag." he said with with a big grin. Bill could see what was about happen...the texts from a month ago were real. He knew it. I pulled the tag from my bag taunting Bill with it. Emotions ran high for Bill, as his thoughts went from anger to laughing to rage to sadness and finally back to laughing again.
The concept of the custom Pinkie tag was to remind whoever finished last, that they played like a big pink boner. I think we did a pretty good job....
For those of you who don't know him, @elnolando (AKA Big Bill Pondo)is truly a unique character. His disc golf skills can range from a highly inebriated intermediate player to that of a small female toddler, who is also very, very drunk. This is the story of one of his favorite discs, the infamous beat to all hell Pink DX Wraith, known to the #Lanon crew as simply, Pinkie.
Pinkie was purchased at The Magic Bus in Indianapolis, a head shop that happens to sell discs as well. I imagine when Bill saw this ****ty DX Wraith he was already visualizing all the future aces he would get with it's truly unpredictable flight, and overall awfulness. He purchased this disc and took it immediately to one of the local Indy courses.
After hitting one tree, Bill was shocked to see that the disc was already heavily scarred, beat up, and useless. He tried to return it to The Magic Bus shortly after the round, claiming low quality and durability as a valid reason for a refund. As any rational disc golfer would expect, they laughed him out of the store, likely wondering why he purchased a lightweight DX Wraith for use exclusively in heavily wooded courses.
Big Bill didn't let it bother him, and continued to throw Pinkie for many months, years even. I had been living in Arizona for a couple of years and was shocked to see this disc still being thrown when I moved back to Indiana. I knew I had no choice but to put a stop to the throwing of this disc. It would make him a better golfer I thought to myself. I was wrong about that, but the story continues nonetheless.
A few months ago the #Lanon crew met up to play a round at Brookside Park. Bill parked his car next to mine, placed his bag on the ground, and walked over to shoot the **** with @dogvsraptor, @weiner_fingers, and a few others. I could see that piece of **** pink disc sitting in his bag. To add to the insult of the presence of this awful disc, it was in a bag that I had to give him so he would quit carrying 8 discs in a stack every god damn round. I saw my opportunity, grabbed the disc from his bag, and threw it into my trunk where it would blend in with the other 100 or so discs that were in there.
A few holes in, Bill reached into his bag looking for Pinkie and was confused by its absence. He quickly came to the conclusion that he must have drunkenly left it on a hole on one of the previous rounds that week. Standard #pro****. I had at this point already informed everyone else that I had hijacked Pinkie, and we all had to keep from laughing while watching him try to figure out what hole a few days ago he had lost it on.
I had no real intentions to do anything with the disc, other than keep it, thus preventing him from throwing it. When the #LanonBagTags made their appearance we realized after a few tag rounds that we needed one more tag. Until we had a new tag, whoever finished last would get no tag.
The idea came to me to take Pinkie, draw out a design on it, and slice it into a tag shape. This would work out great if we could play a course where we knew Bill had a chance to finish last. The plan was to wait until he finished last, then present him with the tag made from his long lost disc, Pinkie. I texted this idea to @dogvsraptor, and he agreed it was pure ****ing gold. #LanonToTheMaximum if you will.
The plan was nearly foiled when I accidentally copied Bill on a text to @dogvsraptor. It went something like this...
"I hope Bill gets last today so we can present him with the tag made from that ****ty Pink Wraith of his. It will be priceless"
Bill responded to the text, and somehow bought my reply that it was just a joke, and that I really had no idea where that stupid disc was. He even brought it up again a month or so later. But I stood my ground, stating I don't have it, and if I did I would have thrown it in a dumpster where it belongs by now.
Yesterday we finally had the opportunity to pull off what we had been planning for so long. Unfortunately, we still hadn't cut Pinkie into the shape we had planned. I picked up @dogvsraptor and Scott Ellis, who is the bearded near-Amish designer of the Sheriff tags you may have already seen on Twitter. We picked up Bill last, giving us time to cut the disc in the car with an X-Acto knife. Scott even had to put the final touches on while Bill was riding in the back seat.
6 of us met at Northwestway Park for a #LanonBagTags round. We were playing the course with new OB lines, knowing full well that this would easily put Bill in the running for last place. The round started out pretty even, but Big Bill took a quadruple bogey on hole 6. With the 7 on his card, and the standard heavy drinking, we knew we were golden.
The final hole ended in near darkness around 9:30pm. We counted up the scores and sure enough Bill finished last. @dogvsraptor gave me the go ahead. "Why don't you give Bill the last place tag." he said with with a big grin. Bill could see what was about happen...the texts from a month ago were real. He knew it. I pulled the tag from my bag taunting Bill with it. Emotions ran high for Bill, as his thoughts went from anger to laughing to rage to sadness and finally back to laughing again.
The concept of the custom Pinkie tag was to remind whoever finished last, that they played like a big pink boner. I think we did a pretty good job....
opcorn:
