Seeking a disc golf adventure partner..

[JuanA]

For over a year now I have been making my living as an artist, specifically a disc golf mini artist

As I get older I find relationships last longer, and mean more to me than when I was young. I think it's because I'm figuring out where I want to be in life, which you have already done.

You're 36 and making a living doing what you enjoy. No matter what your situation is now, just know that you currently have 90% of the population beat in the game of life. :thmbup:

 

[Hampstead]

Isn't there a certain female disc golfer up at Highbridge looking for excitement and adventure?

 

[TheOtherBill]

Mid-30s was a tough age to be single for me. Women (and most men) without kids that age are single for a reason, and it's never a good one. You're too old to be 'whatever-casual' about a partner and too young to settle, in many ways, especially considering your lifestyle.
I've known several guys like that over the last couple decades - they had seasonal work that paid well and would take half the year or more going and doing what they wanted. But they all got lonely and settled down...all of them. Heck one buddy even had his best friend as a travelling partner and as a co-worker with him for years. They were as free as any men can be nowadays without going off the grid, but the kind of loneliness you are talking about isn't satiated with a best friend.

Have you considered that maybe the things you are looking for can be found in more than one person? It would make things a lot less simple but perhaps that might be a sacrifice you could make to bring it all together.

Needing people sucks, it really truly does, but the alternative is much much worse. I wish you the best of luck amigo, I'll keep an eye out on Facebook for any chicks that fit your desription and let them know their search is over

 

[holly7845]

I posted this recently on facebook, still looking for advice/response... chime in if you feel it is appropriate..

Hello friends. I post here because I'm not quite comfortable with posing this question on my own page, with all of my friends and relatives, so I come to you like minded friends, asking for some input and advice. ie, I'm not necessarily looking for this person here in this group, but looking for advice on how to find this person..

TLR; Lonely artist looking for companionship and business partnership in making and touring.

I am writing these things, looking for conversation and advice.

I am a rambler, I tend to type with no coherency, so I apologize ahead of time, this is going to be long and likely not make a whole lot of sense..

For over a year now I have been making my living as an artist, specifically a disc golf mini artist - if you haven't seen my work, browse treasures-of-the-forest.com and instagram @treasures_of_the_forest, and facebook treasuresoftheforest

Last year (2020) - I easily sold more than 1000 pieces and made more $$ than I ever did in the previous 17 years of working for the YMCA. Today I feel somewhat overwhelmed and could use help, this is growing to more than I can handle. Last year I was in a relationship hopeful that she would be able to help me with my business.

Today, She is out of the picture, we went our separate directions, and I am still hopeful that I might find someone to help me with any and all aspects.

In my dream world, this person is a female and a life partner, though I realize it doesn't have to be. A business partner could be a guy that I click with, or a female that is completely platonic and involved in a business relationship only, though I imagine a romantic relationship might be better as we'll be sleeping in close quarters and ultimately close together for long periods of time.

What do I need help with? It is up for discussion, currently I am handling every aspect on my own and am somewhat overwhelmed, certain things I am better at, but I would appreciate any help to delegate. So, here is where I'm at:

My jewelry line, I have made pendants and earrings and such, but haven't had time to focus on it - this alone with the product I create could be a business in and of itself.

Maintaining my artist consignment aspect of the business - I am and plan to continue working with other artists and promoting and selling their work, trading/paying wholesale, or possibly consignment to sell their works as I'm on the road.

Road tripping: this is mostly companionship, I do two types of trips. Material gathering trips - travel to and connect with private course owners and league/tournament directors, and then gather materials from courses. During both, I live in a mini van, camp out as cheaply as possible, with minimal showers and maybe an occasional hotel room.

Also, Road tripping for vending at events, travel to and set up and sell, as well as one of us or both of us being able to play the event.
Marketing and online presence - facebook, twitter, Instagram, etc. I'm not very good at it and would definitely appreciate help

Website - again, I'm not great at keeping it updated and need help with maintaining inventory and shipping and photos and descriptions..
Bookkeeping, taxes and such... this is probably my worst, I have never been very good with money and accounting and what not, it could be cool to have help with this aspect..

Creation and artwork - this is me, this is my business, but I could quite easily take on an apprentice and teach you what needs to be done. Collecting material, drying material, cutting and prepping material, pouring resin into molds, cutting, turning, finishing, etc.

So, ultimately I'm looking for a relationship, a life partner, and a business partner, but I have no idea how to find her (it/him/or whatever).

I've asked friends - advice: it should happen naturally, when you're not even looking for it.
Really? at 36 years old, how does that happen? at the bar that I don't go to? or she's going to randomly show up at my house? or at an disc golf event where there's 3 ladies and they are all there with their boyfriends?

Dating websites? I have seriously been trying, I've had some good dates and encounters even, but overall, it is a horrible experience, I kind of enjoy it, but I really don't want to keep at it, I want to find someone and just go for it you know...
Here I am, open and vulnerable, looking for advice. Shoot me down or give me something I don't care, it was quite difficult to open up and do this from a personal level, so be kind, but also be real.

Thoughts/Ideas/Critiques? Anybody want to make a go of it? Or know somebody that might? Let me know, or let me know what you think about proceeding from this point - should I post this/something similar on my personal page? Or a different page? I don't know... coming this far is way out of my comfort zone so... be gentle.

I think this entire lifestyle sounds delightful! I also love the aspect that you're inviting or open to the idea that she can assist with the business side. That's my personal dream come true. A partner that invites me to help his dream blossom! Someone that wants to travel and explore nature while making some funds along the way.
I believe you'll find the right person. How? I don't know, but she's out there.
Don't give up.

 

[Discbee]

Sounds like you found each other based on the above post

 

[ThrowaEnvy]

That's an encouraging drop in, I checked her bag, she looks cool I like a lady that throws Roadrunners .. send her a bunch of minis and she can hand them out to her discin friends.

Ooh do a lookin for love one with a different email.. Let em fly and see where they land!

 

[holly7845]

Sounds like you found each other based on the above post

If I was interested I would have said so, instead of just making a kind encouraging post.

 

[swhite]

Martin Dewgarita has been friend zoned.

 

[chevis]

aww, come on holly, this could be the best disc golf romcom ever; you fake interest in the beginning, cuz you want a little more money (and to please the dgcr crowd), and he's all in; <insert comedy> traveling around with him and his dog you start developing feelings for him. <insert breakup & sadness> after some time apart you meet again at a tournament <insert over the top romantic gesture> and live happily ever after.... until <insert dg romcom2>

 

[Discbee]

If I was interested I would have said so, instead of just making a kind encouraging post.

Don't be coy with me....or with Mr. Dewgarita. I don't need a tarot card reading or a soothsayer to sense the subtle brewing romance that is blossoming between you lovebirds.

 

[ThrowaEnvy]

If I was interested I would have said so, instead of just making a kind encouraging post.

Yup, many thanks for stopping in and giving Martin a lift. Probably made his day! It isn't easy for him, or you (I think anyways) to stick your neck out. Just a hearty right on from up here

Martin seems like a real solid guy and I've enjoyed his conversation on DGCR, don't give up buddy! The dating pool gets a lot better in the next few years! I figure 10yrs of high school boyfriends an a hole or two or bad husbands and ladies in their late 30's are much more grounded, in touch with themselves and know what they do and don't want. They have grown out of idiots.

I found my woman when I was about 33.. 10+ yrs ago.. She's "4 years older than me" haha she hates that song...

Just keep getting out there!

 

[dreadlock86]

I've asked friends - advice: it should happen naturally, when you're not even looking for it.
Really? at 36 years old, how does that happen? at the bar that I don't go to? or she's going to randomly show up at my house? or at an disc golf event where there's 3 ladies and they are all there with their boyfriends?

Dating websites? I have seriously been trying, I've had some good dates and encounters even, but overall, it is a horrible experience, I kind of enjoy it, but I really don't want to keep at it, I want to find someone and just go for it you know...
Here I am, open and vulnerable, looking for advice. Shoot me down or give me something I don't care, it was quite difficult to open up and do this from a personal level, so be kind, but also be real.

props to you for being willing to put yourself out there, both here and out in the world.

i'm 39 and single for the last 10 years so i feel you. what Bill said above resonated with me, 30's are a tough time to be alone. i've preferred it to unfulfilling relationships but it's still hard sometimes.

i think there is a difference between not forcing something and not seeking something. you definitely don't want to force it but you will also certainly not find it if you're not doing at least a little bit of seeking. again, i can relate to you: bars suck, meeting people is hard when you're self-employed, and the circles we frequent are largely male-dominated.

with respect to finding a partner, i feel like i need to be open and communicate my intentions; and you've already done that. one has to put their word into the world in order to manifest the things you want. for some, it can be hard to do this without coming across as desperate. it is way easier if you are at ease with who you are and assured of your self-worth. knowing what you do and do not want has a tendency of projecting confidence so that should be a plus for you.

i also try to focus on being rather than doing or having. i think about ways of being i can embody that will put me in a better position to realize my dreams instead of thinking about what to do. or worse, what to have. for example, i play music. i focus on being an artist, being a hard worker, being an effective collaborator, being someone other people can count on. if i'm being those things, then the doing will come naturally out of that and soon i have what an artist has as well.

so perhaps, don't think so much about what you want to have. think instead about the ways of being you could take on that would make you the person who finds his ideal partner. and that may not have anything to do with "doing" anything different.


best of luck, my friend. starting this thread may have been the hardest part so congrats on getting started. feel free to PM me if i said anything that sparked thoughts or questions.

 

[Martin Dewgarita]

Lots of good thinking points. Thank you to the folks that put some time into a thoughtful response. I appreciate the input thus far. Looking forward to continuing this adventure, no matter how it plays out. I've been doing just fine on my own, but I do realize I might be able to do better with the right companion. All I can do is keep pushing - if I've realized anything about running a business, it is that as long as I keep pushing I keep making things happen, bigger and better things every day. It's when I stop pushing that things fall back, so it's also finding that balance of not burning out and think about where I am and where I'm going. I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing.

If you hear of anybody that wants to keep pushing and live the dream, send her my way

 

[Martin Dewgarita]

Thinking back on my disc golf adventures in the past 12 years, most of which has been catalogued and shared through those forums. It has been a crazy wild ride, that kind of ground to a halt with the development of a relationship. The ride was still moving along, just very mellowed out. Now, she's completely out of the picture and with the recent developments in my mini business (it's also crazy to me that I began making/selling these things 10 years ago in April), the ride took a wild turn and the excitement is building again, the road is calling again. I long for someone that wants to hit the gas and go for it, see where it will lead, not slam on the brakes!

 

[NKDave]

Had to post even tho I'm a lurker.

When first hearing "I sold 1000 minis" I think "wow, this dude made 10,000$. Run away ladies".
But then I looked at the minis. They are amazing. As an artist myself, I am very impressed! I am going to pick one up. Super rad.

IMO: you need an apprentice/employee/business partner. In reality, the "things you are bad at" are really just things you don't want to do. Because it is the **** work. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY wants to do taxes and that crap. That's why we pay someone to do it. So either pay someone to do it, or do it yourself and pay someone to help produce and sell your work.

Imo, focus on the work and the bottom line (money) and the rest will fall into place. Be a good person and enjoy yourself. Be open to finding a lady that does her own thing and isn't in love with or overly impressed by you art/business.

I have a highly developed opinion of my skills and of my amazing self, but I can assure you my girl doesn't haha. She's a doctor and just finds my disc golfing/designing/shooting/pool playing/whatever as "cute". What she wants is that I have my share of the bills ready, that I am loyal and supportive, and that I respect her and her dreams and goals as much as my own.
And, she knows without a doubt that when the time comes to jump in front of a bullet for her (figuratively or actually), there will be no hesitation. I think as artists we tend toward selfishness. Not saying you are, but your dream seems to be mostly about you. Just saying keep your eyes open. The greatest girl in the world may be the complete opposite of what you are looking for, and exactly what you really need.

Cheers and good luck.

 

[ThrowaEnvy]

I will second that! Opposites attract.. Those are nice minis.. Paperwork sucks.

In my house I'm the one that manages the money and my lady is the artist.. I have been called "dream killer" more than once haha (I think my kid did it first) but we each have different jobs in the house, we can't do the same things and sometimes the fights are impressive but we love each other and usually it's fights over "projects"... with the right encouragement I have done more than I ever thought with my yard and stuff.

I asked her the other day and she uses Square for payments and it talks to Quickbooks. She said it simplified a lot of her small business needs.. I have Quickbooks, a bookkeeper and an accountant. Quickbooks has helped me out too but I won't go into great detail, the photo snap receipt dealio is awesome. Loose paper is a nightmare!

 

[BillFleming]

Don't be in a rush to find a girlfriend/companion. Take the time to find the right one. I got married when I was 38 and it was worth the wait.

Meanwhile, find someone who can help with the business and you can trust. Figure out what part(s) of the business you don't want to do and then find the person who can do it.

 

[Martin Dewgarita]

One of my biggest takes from this thread. And other conversations I had about this was basically a point of compromise. This post in itself was quite narcissistic, I was quite focused on the me, and how this person I dreamed of would benefit me. My thoughts evolved over the months, as I continued to have interactions with women and pushed for this dream. I perused all of the dating apps and websites, and some interactions on Facebook. I basically erased all of the check boxes. And the OP became just a few sentences, after months of evolution, along the lines of "Seeking life partner. I have dreams and passions I want to share and build with you, and I would love to learn about your dreams and passions, and together we compromise and add our passions to create our common dream together."

And well, enter Chanté. As cliche as it sounds, she's everything I dreamed of and more. More or less what I outlined in the OP, she's 100% on board with at this point, plus so much more that I didn't even know I needed in a partner.

 

[Riverdog]

Nothing but good karma my brother.... and sister. [emoji41] Come see us! [emoji106]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[txmxer]

You posted from your heart. Obviously you are a passionate person. Wish you the best.