Classic Review lines

[Olorin]

Some remarks in course reviews are so well said that they need to be memorialized. I love a well crafted line, so post the ones you find. To me, they add zest to a review, so I'd like to encourage those who create them.

 

[Olorin]

"This course should only be played by people that don't call the phone number on found discs."
by zenbot in his Conejo Valley YMCA review

This made me laugh and inspired this thread!

 

[ERicJ]

"This course should only be played by people that don't call the phone number on found discs."
by zenbot

Damn... that's the one I was gonna post when I saw the thread title....

 

[zenbot]

It's funny because it's true.

 

[sillybizz]

"Smells like urine about 75% of the time because there are no bathrooms. I honestly don't understand why people don't think about that before whipping it out and peeing right next to baskets."

This is from chow and his review of mineral springs in Seattle, WA.

 

[billnchristy]

Here is my review of Betty Ross in NC:

Mindbendingly Mediocre

The bathroom had more urine on the floor than could have possibly ever been in the toilet itself.

Back in the woods just had a deliverance vibe to me...I had given thought to walking the trail to see where it went but did not feel like "squealing like a pig" tonight.

The course was a pond from all the rain the last few days (not something I count against, but it added to the craptasticness).

 

[YonderScott]

Here is my review of Betty Ross in NC:

Can't believe you didn't complain about the smell of that river. I guess if it was raining, it might have kept the smell down. Normally is smells horrid. And yes, something just doesn't feel right down around hole 9.

 

[Olorin]

This tells you something about a course:

"My favorite part of being there was a creepy guy using a metal detector throughout the playground. Not sure what "buried treasure" he was looking for in the sand, but he seemed determined."

by heelboycraig, review of Betty G. Ross in Lincolnton NC

Those 1/2 disc ratings are really piling up for Betty G. Ross!

 

[jdggna]

I'm getting odd looks at work after laughing from reading these...

 

[billnchristy]

Wow, no, I didn't smell the river, but given the amount of rain in the last few days it was close to overflowing the banks...it was obviously moving faster than the speed of stink.

 

[sillybizz]

"Put a very minmal amount of work into this course and restore to it's orginal 1 star rating or.............put a bullet into it and put it out of it's misery. "

Good one from The Valkyrie Kid reviewing Bicentennial Park in Mountlake Terrace, WA.

 

[craigd]

I liked insaneforchains closing thoughts of Carver Recreation Center in Chattanooga Tenn. Sorry for the extra lines I just thought they all were too good not to include.


"If you like people aimlessly walking/wandering across the fairway just as you are getting ready to throw that driver, this is the course for you! If one of your discs lands near a kid, most likely he will pick it up with a "HEY LOOK WHAT I FOUND" look on his face. Make sure you don't say anything even slightly negative about this though...cause then you will most likely get a beat down by his posse or worse... his 6ft3 340lb mom! Gotta love that hole where just behind the basket is a menacing barking dog reminding you that if you miss... the disc is his. And if you miss badly enough and hit the pimp van, things could get ugly."

 

[sillybizz]

I liked insaneforchains closing thoughts of Carver Recreation Center in Chattanooga Tenn. Sorry for the extra lines I just thought they all were too good not to include.


"If you like people aimlessly walking/wandering across the fairway just as you are getting ready to throw that driver, this is the course for you! If one of your discs lands near a kid, most likely he will pick it up with a "HEY LOOK WHAT I FOUND" look on his face. Make sure you don't say anything even slightly negative about this though...cause then you will most likely get a beat down by his posse or worse... his 6ft3 340lb mom! Gotta love that hole where just behind the basket is a menacing barking dog reminding you that if you miss... the disc is his. And if you miss badly enough and hit the pimp van, things could get ugly."

ahahahahahahahahahahahah that is too good!!!!!!!!!!

 

[BullBurner]

This is a line from my review of the Westmoreland course here in Eugene, OR

"Always a drunken bum somewhere on the course, usually next to the tee for #4 under the tree drinking and listening to music. I have had many songs stuck in my head for the rest of the round because of this"

 

[BrotherDave]

Since some of us are tooting our own horns I thought I'd share this quaint imagery I typed in my review of Swinging DBs, "Some fairways were smaller than a single wide trailer's hallway."

I should know, I grew up in one. I have got to play some crappy courses though, bad experiences always bring out the best comedy in me.

 

[zenbot]

"A few of the fairways are right next to some residential backyards. The tenants varied in spirit greatly. One guy seemed to kick it and wait for people to walk by so he could strike up a conversation. Another lady, your typical "curtain twitcher", looked for any excuse to yell at the golfers. You'll know her house. It's the one plastered with "No Trespassing" signs. Avoid her at all costs. Local legend has it that if she looks at you dead in the eyes you'll turn to stone."

http://www.dgcoursereview.com/course.php?id=2631

(Yeah, I know it's my own review. I still think it's funny though.)

 

[craigd]

Well since we are posting some of our own "work"...

"The water shot on hole number fourteen was a little tricky. The bank between me and the baskets had fisherman standing around. Depending on the personalities of some of these guys it could get a little tricky to convince them to move. After all you are in the south. You might just look like a couple of guys throwing a Frisbee (if you know what I mean)."

This was from Sanders Ferry in Hendersonville Tennessee.

 

[The Valkyrie Kid]

I liked insaneforchains closing thoughts of Carver Recreation Center in Chattanooga Tenn. Sorry for the extra lines I just thought they all were too good not to include.


"If you like people aimlessly walking/wandering across the fairway just as you are getting ready to throw that driver, this is the course for you! If one of your discs lands near a kid, most likely he will pick it up with a "HEY LOOK WHAT I FOUND" look on his face. Make sure you don't say anything even slightly negative about this though...cause then you will most likely get a beat down by his posse or worse... his 6ft3 340lb mom! Gotta love that hole where just behind the basket is a menacing barking dog reminding you that if you miss... the disc is his. And if you miss badly enough and hit the pimp van, things could get ugly."

Having playing Carver a twice last summer, I completely concur with and understand insaneforchains so eloquently written description. Although being an educator, I tried to convey the very same thoughts in more politically correct terms. I nominate Insaneforchains' comments for induction into the DGCR Hall Of Fame comments section!

 

[zenbot]

"Put a very minmal amount of work into this course and restore to it's orginal 1 star rating or.............put a bullet into it and put it out of it's misery. "

Good one from The Valkyrie Kid reviewing Bicentennial Park in Mountlake Terrace, WA.

That is a good one. Right to the point.

 

[80playedin10states]

i'm not going to look and quote anyone, but i love the reviews where you read them and wonder, wtf was he thinking? did he play the same course i did? i have seen a few where they described a totally different course than the one i played..