Funny on-course true stories

[BrotherDave]

I had a guy in Sanford stop my group to talk our ears off about how he was playing. He looked like a portly, bearded version of Mel Gibson, crazy eyes and all, and he was really excited that he was playing 900 level golf. "That's pro golf" he said emphatically. He also went on to claim that he could throw his putter over 1000'. The putter in question was a Coyote by the way. After a good 15 minutes of portly Mel yammering on I interrupted him with a "WELL ENJOY YOUR ROUND, PAL!" and quickly shepherded my much too polite friends away from him.

 

[BogeyNoMore]

900 rated? AM2... Pro... what's the diff???
And how dare you doubt his 1000' putter claim... just because he didn't mention that he threw from off the observation platform of the Empire State building doesn't mean it didn't happen. :|
You should just be flattered he thought you and your pals were worth impressing.

 

[GoobyPls]

He also went on to claim that he could throw his putter over 1000'. The putter in question was a Coyote by the way.

Maybe he meant down a ski slope.

 

[pjhayes7]

My friend, who I most often play disc golf with, had a round that I regret missing to this day. He was playing at a park that is notorious for other park goers just wandering onto the fairways, oblivious to the disc golf. Most are used to this and are prepared and deal just with it. But on this special day, my buddy said he waited for a lady to walk through like what he expected. Instead, she got down on her knees and began to pray. My buddy describes how he thought about throwing over her (with his luck, he would have hit her and been arrested for a hate crime), but of course thought better of it and just walked away without playing that hole. I cannot emphasize enough how much I regret missing this in person.

 

[CreemCheese]

Maybe she thought she was ducking I one time had someone attempt to lay down in the middle of a fairway so I could throw over him.

 

[flamfive]

I witnessed a fun one this weekend. One of the local parks was hosting some sort of scavenger hunt thingy in the woods. They hung bags all over the place and people had to use coordinates to find them. So there was a lot of new people in the park that day.

One of the fairways gets reeeeeally wet and muddy fairly often. The disc golfers throw over it and then walk 50 feet around through the woods to their next shots. A young couple came upon this marsh and for some reason, decided the best way to cross it was to sprint full speed through the middle of it. The girl takes off running and about halfway through, both shoes get stuck, she runs right out of them and plants in the mud. Everyone had quite a good chuckle. We honestly didn't know it was about happen or we would've yelled back to use the path. We just figured they saw us do it and it was obvious.

 

[Danderlion]

Maybe she thought she was ducking I one time had someone attempt to lay down in the middle of a fairway so I could throw over him.

Similar story here. About 200 feet down the fairway there was a women on the phone. She was squatting with her butt about 2 inches off the ground with her back to my group.

We were on a wooded hole and there is really only one line to take, which is right where she was. We yelled at her for a while before she finally heard us. Turns out it was an Asian women, and I believe she was squatting like that just because it was comfortable to her. At first it seemed like she was hiding from something... or possibly dropping a deuce.

 

[Lazerface]

duplicate

 

[Lazerface]

I have 2 from my years of playing

1) My friends and I are walking to the next tee pad and there stood a 6-8 year old kid and his father. The kid was on the tee and dad was standing at about 11 O'clock to the front left of the pad. Kid rips one into the first tree just off the tee pad and it ricochets directly into the face of dad. It seemed to come off the tree 3x faster than thrown. So when dad takes this thing to the face he lets out a very high pitched squeal and drops to the ground. We then arrive at the tee pad and it appears dad is coming out of a semi-conscious state. We were really trying to hold back laughter given the squeal this guy made when struck. He was very angry and as they begin their walk down the fairway he starts reprimanding the poor kid as if it was not 100% on dad given where he decided to stand like a moron. We felt bad for the kid and were very happy the dude took one to the face.

2) I'm playing in a PDGA event at a local course. It's a city course with several of those concrete retention ponds. If you are familiar with this type of pond then you know this water is nothing to mess around with. Pure filth. You will see the occasional guy dropping catfish in a 5 gallon bucket, but it goes without saying this is not a good idea. As we get ready to tee off we hear a very loud "Cannon Ball". We look over and this guy is swimming in the filth lap style. Nobody swims in this water. Nobody. We are all in disbelief. Just the smell of this water is enough to induce a gag. Then the guy jumps out he throws his long hair back and stands there looking refreshed. But wait, is that....no.....OMG.... It's freaking "(insert well known local drunk disc golfer)" Then we really start to roll when we realize who it is. If you are from my city there is many of stories about this guy and this one took the cake for me. I love telling it to this day and watching those who have not heard it roll when I finish the story with the "And there stood......"

 

[Guurn]

A story with the type of funny I enjoy.

Like usual I'm playing a solo round at my home course which happens to be perfectly suited to my current level of play. Lots of 300-350 foot hyzers with accuracy shots thrown in. As I waited for the group ahead on hole 2 (The Valley,Mn) a couple catches up and asks if they can join me. I love pickup stuff so off we go! After a hole or two and some small talk the guy starts bragging. Not normal small talk bragging, actual I'm the best in the region bragging. I'm a pretty average player for my age among the tourney crowd but I've seen guys that can play at the level he is bragging up to.

He mentions distance. Now that year I was reaching out to 400' but on a normal day 370' with accuracy. We are on hole 5 and he shanks it into the woods. My drive goes straight and it makes for an easy 3 for me, he takes a 4. This starts a trend. The next two holes are the same. I drive well and he overthrows. His bragging turns into the Minnesota has so many tunnel shots, if this was more open I could unleash my 550' of distance. I kept my mouth shut, choosing not to goad him on. In Minnesota we do have a lot of tunnel shots and this course has a few, but not many. Now hole 8 is a very long hole. He is pretty angry at this point but when he sees that he can finally unleash he got very excited. There are 2 trees to avoid but after that it is very open. Since I had the box I took out a Saint and just threw an easy throw to get past the initial trees plus a little. Yeah, I was setting him up.

He reaches down, says something about this disc being his favorite distance Destroyer and proceeds to absolutely rip it...into the first tree. Immediately his face went beet red and he became visibly angry. He reached into his bag, mumbled something about a warm up and absolutely rips another..into the second tree. He started shaking at this point. Trying to be nice, I reached into my bag, opened a beer, took a sip and asked him if he would like to throw another. He quickly replied, "ABSOLUTLEY". He proceeded to reproduce his first throw almost perfectly. Not wanting to waste any more time I started walking. As we arrived at his discs he quickly picked them all up and walked off the course without even a see ya. I was chuckling for the rest of the round.

 

[Lazerface]

Me and my group found a brand new Dynamic 10 disc bag with an old beer in it and a small baggie of cocaine in it at Highbridge. No name - friend kept the DD bag but not the coke. He tried the beer and said it was old and tasted like piss.

I'm not into coke, but I feel like this is one of those situations where I would have looked at my buddy and been like, weeeeeeellllllllllllll.... and played 54 holes or so.

 

[jeremyhilss]

I'm not into coke, but I feel like this is one of those situations where I would have looked at my buddy and been like, weeeeeeellllllllllllll.... and played 54 holes or so.

Haha if there were any other people around maaaayybee I would've seen if we could get some money for it but I wouldn't try it.

 

[davidb]

The other day I was playing with some friends. We all threw our tee shots. I walk up to my disc and throw my approach, meanwhile my friend is looking for his disc. I pick up my disc and see his right under mine. Perfectly on top of it. Very strange

 

[ejvogie]

Everyone has the local historian, right? The guy with no more than 4 digits in his PDGA number?

We're hanging around waiting for random dubs to start, and another guy is there with his dog. Everyone loves the dog. It's the kind of animal that picks up a 4" diameter 6' long log in its mouth and takes out your knees from the back.

Anyhow, as we're waiting the dog decides it's time to answer nature's call on the fence. Only problem is that historian's bag is on the other side and it's chain-link.

I'm not sure why historian has Windex in his Jeep, but he's scrubbing all his discs with it before we start, and the rest of us are dying of laughter.

 

[joshhyzer]

Everyone has the local historian, right? The guy with no more than 4 digits in his PDGA number?

We're hanging around waiting for random dubs to start, and another guy is there with his dog. Everyone loves the dog. It's the kind of animal that picks up a 4" diameter 6' long log in its mouth and takes out your knees from the back.

Anyhow, as we're waiting the dog decides it's time to answer nature's call on the fence. Only problem is that historian's bag is on the other side and it's chain-link.

I'm not sure why historian has Windex in his Jeep, but he's scrubbing all his discs with it before we start, and the rest of us are dying of laughter.

I have that beat. My buddy had a dog that wasn't fixed and was on her period. This is also during winter, so every step she takes leaves a trail of red behind her, then she jumped over my buddy's bag. You can guess how that ended up.

 

[lyleoross]

For a troll, you know less about dogs than you do about marriage.

 

[Flick Maniac]

Everyone know that 1-up guy that has your story always beat?

 

[allinpflop]

Several years ago at the Shoot the Breeze tournament in Ohio....I'm playing men's Rec so most of the players (myself included) are not all that accurate. Not sure of the hole but off to the left of the fairway is a large covered pavilion that runs parallel to the fairway. While we are playing the hole the pavilion is filled with a child's birthday party. Some guy on my card shanks his drive too far left. We are all horrified to see the disc heading right for the pavilion. Perhaps out of shock no one says a word as the disc heads into the pavilion. The disc then flies over everyone's head straight thru the pavilion and out the other side. No one at the birthday party had any idea of what just happened. We all laughed afterwards at how crazy and lucky (that no one was hurt) the throw was.

 

[Therealgoat]

Out for a spring round with 2 buddies. Short, wooded, tunnel shot hole. Me and one of the guys get up through the tunnel for a putt while the 3rd guy hits an early tree. We head up to our shots thinking it's an easy find, but we putt out before he finds it and gets ready to throw his approach.

First Buddy, after putting out, gets the scorecard out (before we had UDisc), and really leans back to use his belly for a "table" to write on, marking down his score. Of course, right as he gets leaned back I see Second Buddy throw his approach shot, through the tunnel but hyzering out right towards First Buddy. I'm standing behind the basket at this point, looking right back down the tunnel with both guys right in line, so I see this shot perfectly. It's still like a Slow-mez in my mind, and this approach hyzers right into First Buddy's junk. It was a putter from 80' out, so it didn't have a ton of speed, but it got him square and dropped him straight to the ground where, despite the spring mud, he proceeded to roll around howling for a few minutes. I almost did the same just from laughter. I suppose I could have warned him, but so could Second Buddy, and it was just too perfect with him basically leaning into it, hips forward. He basically asked for it.

 

[joots]

Old hole #13 at Rosedale Park, Kansas City, Kansas, had a regularly traveled road that pseudo curved through the right side of the hole. Though it is easy enough to throw over the road, or just pipe one up the middle to avoid the road entirely, my buddy decided to provide the most unlikely lay I have ever seen. He lined up his drive to S curve over the road, but turned it over waaay too much. This drive occurred while an SUV was coming up the road. While the disc was turning into the SUV (it was going to damage the ride, no matter where it hit), the passenger reached out of the window, grabbed the disc, IN FLIGHT, then proceeded to throw the disc back into the fairway. The entire card began to hoot and holler in excitement and disbelief, but the SUV drove off before we had a chance to figure out how much the passengers hand hurt. Needless to say, my buddy played the disc from the lay that was provided to him. I'm still curious how bad that guys hand got busted up.