The issue is you guys neglect to address the problem and belittle the situation. Saying just go man up or stay home is a primitive answer. I think it was the op who compared it to someone asking for help on their form and people answering to just go throw better or quit. Both those answers lack insight and are counterproductive.
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Playing Through Etiquette
- Thread starter akray21
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I think the advice on action and mentality have been on point.
You know, when invited to play through, you can always just say "No, thank you." That will pretty much take care of it. It's rare that a group begs you or insists that you play through.
And hope that you mostly come up behind those etiquette-challenged groups that never invite anyone to play through. The kind who have inspired a thousand other threads.
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I've been in the position of playing solo, and not wanting to play through a group, for all sorts of reasons besides the ones speculated here. During my early days there were really only two small sets of players on our local course---myself and my gang of beginners, and a half-dozen veterans who were light years better than us. And slower. It was intimidating playing through their group. Of course, that went away with experience.
I've chosen to follow a group on an unfamiliar course to help me with navigation, while still wishing to play solo. I've been invited to play through when my plans were to quit in 2 or 3 holes, anyway, so declined.
In all these cases, "No, thank you" works---and should fit anyone's definition of etiquette.
And hope that you mostly come up behind those etiquette-challenged groups that never invite anyone to play through. The kind who have inspired a thousand other threads.
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I've been in the position of playing solo, and not wanting to play through a group, for all sorts of reasons besides the ones speculated here. During my early days there were really only two small sets of players on our local course---myself and my gang of beginners, and a half-dozen veterans who were light years better than us. And slower. It was intimidating playing through their group. Of course, that went away with experience.
I've chosen to follow a group on an unfamiliar course to help me with navigation, while still wishing to play solo. I've been invited to play through when my plans were to quit in 2 or 3 holes, anyway, so declined.
In all these cases, "No, thank you" works---and should fit anyone's definition of etiquette.
TruthHurts
Bogey Member
Sounds like social anxiety, and I can relate. 95% of my rounds are played solo. I like to take my time, and get the most out of each round. The problem is I hate feeling like I'm holding somebody up, or like their attention is focused on me when I'm playing...unless it's during some kind of structured event. At a structured event, i feel entitled to take my alotted time. When playing a casual round I feel compelled to play quickly when people are waiting for me. The moment I start worrying about what they're thinking, I lose all focus, get anxious/annoyed, and start playing horribly. That sets the tone for the rest of my round, and I usually play hurriedly, and poorly, and go home afterwards in a sour mood. To give perspective, I'm not a noob. I've been playing a little over 5 years, have won several open tournaments, and have a respectable rating. I SHOULD feel comfortable on the DG course, but that's not always the case.
That being said, the issue is MINE, and not other peoples'. The course is a public place, you will always run into people. I use several methods to deal with the anxiety. I will play less popular courses to avoid people. If im arounf people i don't know, or want to communicate with, I put in headphones, and try to tune them out. I also try to remind myself that nobody cares if I have a great/poor throw. If I AM holding somebody up for a few minutes as I play through, it's not going to ruin their day. If it does, that's THEIR issue. It only affects you if you let it. An unhealthy way to handle the anxiety, and what I use if the course is going to be crowded, is to bring some booze with me. It lessens the anxiety, and helps take the edge off.
While I sympathize with you as a fellow anxious introvert, at the end of the day it's still your/my problem, and going through life refusing to address it(manning up) isn't going to make anything better. You're also not the only person who may not like feeling watched/rushed. It would annoy me to have you refuse to play through, and wait at every teepad for me/my group to finish. If a group let's you play through, be grateful, and accept the offer. Good luck with your issues, hope things get better for you.
That being said, the issue is MINE, and not other peoples'. The course is a public place, you will always run into people. I use several methods to deal with the anxiety. I will play less popular courses to avoid people. If im arounf people i don't know, or want to communicate with, I put in headphones, and try to tune them out. I also try to remind myself that nobody cares if I have a great/poor throw. If I AM holding somebody up for a few minutes as I play through, it's not going to ruin their day. If it does, that's THEIR issue. It only affects you if you let it. An unhealthy way to handle the anxiety, and what I use if the course is going to be crowded, is to bring some booze with me. It lessens the anxiety, and helps take the edge off.
While I sympathize with you as a fellow anxious introvert, at the end of the day it's still your/my problem, and going through life refusing to address it(manning up) isn't going to make anything better. You're also not the only person who may not like feeling watched/rushed. It would annoy me to have you refuse to play through, and wait at every teepad for me/my group to finish. If a group let's you play through, be grateful, and accept the offer. Good luck with your issues, hope things get better for you.
Some people are distracted by music, or people standing in their cone of vision, or background noise... I am simply distracted by people watching (period).
Most people have taken this thread in the wrong direction, this is not an issue of social fear, but an issue of what distracts a person. I worked in a call center for 3 years, I ran a social group in college, I am by no means afraid of people or interaction with people in any way. I simply get distracted by their presence and am easily distracted, not afraid. For some reason people watching me distracts me as much as playing music might distract someone else, and that is an issue in my own mental game. I don't care what YOU think, but your presence near the teepad is distracting. What I have an issue with is blocking out distractions, the more things going on around me, the worse I play.
If I were to pass anyone of you on this forum, you would probably not even know that I was bothered by playing through, or that I would prefer not even talking to you. You might think that I am not a good player because of my throw, but you would have no idea that I hated playing through.
Only way to get better at something is to practice it. If I were you I'd try to play through as many groups as possible to get used to it.
Thing is, you're only going to be distracted one hole by playing through. If you lollygag behind a group forever, it's in your head on every hole.
gradus
Par Member
Person 1: "How do I stop rounding when throwing, any good advice or tips?"
Person 2: "Stop it."
Great, thanks...
Stop using this analogy, it's not the same. There's no technique that you can learn to make playing through easier. There are no drills to help you practice, you either do it or you don't.
You have two choices, you can continue to decline offers to play through and forever have anxiety issues when others watch you play, or you can suck it up, play through when invited to and do the best you can. With time, you'll become more used to throwing in front of others and it won't be nearly as much of a problem.
jeffmonty
* Ace Member *
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2010
- Messages
- 2,395
If you don't play competitive events, then this whole thread is much ado about nothing.
It is a perfectly fine analogy. You know that their are coaches for the mental aspects of sports right? People write books and have podcasts about the difficulties of the mental aspects of sports. Just because it is not an issue to you and you are good at the mental game, doesn't mean that everyone is. There are ways to improve mentality other than "get over it stupid". Simply put you are being ignorant. Just because you don't understand peoples struggle with mental aspects doesn't mean the struggles don't exist.
There are many accounts of amazing athletes with physical gifts not making it big because they could not figure out the mental side of their given sport. 90% of sports are half mental. So stop acting like mental game issues can be solved by simply getting over it. You obviously have no constructive input or tips to provide so you can stop posting.
Mental aspect of the sport? You're talking about ONE throw, MAYBE two, in front of a group of strangers that won't care you're alive in two minutes.
You're obsessing. Just force yourself to go do it, and keep doing it. It will go away in time, just like the fear of giving a speech in front of a group. It doesn't matter how many books you read, or how many podcasts you listen to, or how many coaches you hire...at some point, you just have to do it.
Moral of the story: either go freakin' do it, or stop whining about it.
You're obsessing. Just force yourself to go do it, and keep doing it. It will go away in time, just like the fear of giving a speech in front of a group. It doesn't matter how many books you read, or how many podcasts you listen to, or how many coaches you hire...at some point, you just have to do it.
Moral of the story: either go freakin' do it, or stop whining about it.
You act like "getting over" mental blocks requires some magical elixir, and if you don't have that elixir, you're doomed forever. You know what most of those books and podcasts generally say about getting through mental hurdles? PRACTICE! Repeat the action until it no longer becomes difficult. That might be easier to accomplish for some than for others, but it doesn't make it wrong.
Have you stopped to consider that maybe some of the folks in the thread who are simplifying their advice to "stop it" are saying it because it's exactly what they did to get over their own mental game issues? No different than when they respond "practice" to the question of how do I become a better putter. Might be a bit of a smart ass answer, but it doesn't make it poor advice.
If you want technical head-game guru type advice, seek out those books and podcasts that address the mental aspects instead of trying to find it here.
But what harm does it really do to play through? Maybe you have a bad hole because you couldn't deal with the distraction of eyes on you. So what? You're playing a casual round by yourself.
However the benefit of playing through whenever you get a chance is that you become more used to the situation, to the point that it will eventually become a non-issue.
So yeah, my advice is the same, man up and play through, you'll be a better player in the long run.
Best advice given is to not ask questions here, lol
But thanks to the people who actually had good constructive input, your the ones that I wouldn't mind seeing on the course.
gradus
Par Member
Stop it!
John M. Fretz
Par Member
My son doesn't like to throw in front of strangers, or even ppl we know. I'm surprised he even throws with me present. He has been like that since he was 10 yrs old and is now 18. When the situation calls for him to throw around others, he takes a deep breath, and just does it. However, he used to wait for a hole no one was playing. He still hates to throw around anyone, but actually drives better than me, AND the others, and is glad he pushed himself to do so.
All that being said, I can't believe there are 13 pages of thread devoted to this subject...and now i just added to it. wow:doh:
All that being said, I can't believe there are 13 pages of thread devoted to this subject...and now i just added to it. wow:doh:
art_vandelay
Eagle Member
OP, question. When you are out with people you are comfortable throwing around, what do you think when you see a single come up behind you? Do you really care what he does? Don't you forget about it right after it happens? Most do. Believe me, I'm alot like you.
When I'm with my friends, and we encounter a single, we'll ask him to play with us if he wants or play through. We don't really care which option he takes, we don't care if he is a great player or a hack. We're all just out to have some fun and watch discs fly. Good shot, bad shot, who really cares?
We all have one thing in common....Disc golf. I can't think of a place where it's easier to make friends than a disc golf course, and I don't make friends easily.
When I'm with my friends, and we encounter a single, we'll ask him to play with us if he wants or play through. We don't really care which option he takes, we don't care if he is a great player or a hack. We're all just out to have some fun and watch discs fly. Good shot, bad shot, who really cares?
We all have one thing in common....Disc golf. I can't think of a place where it's easier to make friends than a disc golf course, and I don't make friends easily.
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