Classic Review lines

[Olorin]

I love this title:
"Where Tennis Balls Go To Die"
by swatso, Darnestown Swim & Racquet Club, Germantown, MD

 

[harr0140]

Sorry I have to nominate myself for this one. I saw Jack McLean Park on the recent tote board of reviews so I read the new one and went down to reread mine. I am sorry but I find my #5 con to be pretty funny. In case you dont catch the references . . . it is based on Deliverance.

http://www.dgcoursereview.com/reviews.php?id=450&page=1&mode=rev#18061

 

[Donovan]

Man, I wish I could remember who's review I read the other day that said the swore they saw a prostitute giving a blow job on one of the holes. I laughed my butt off and had to read it twice to make sure I wasn't misreading it.

 

[harr0140]

Man, I wish I could remember who's review I read the other day that said the swore they saw a prostitute giving a blow job on one of the holes. I laughed my butt off and had to read it twice to make sure I wasn't misreading it.

Not sure how you would misread something into that unless it was really on your mind to get a bj from a prostitute

 

[Donovan]

Not sure how you would misread something into that unless it was really on your mind to get a bj from a prostitute

Even if I wasn't a happy guy at home, that would never be the case. I think I was double checking to see if he wrote that he got one or was witnessing it. LOL

 

[Marty McFly]

Even if I wasn't a happy guy at home, that would never be the case. I think I was double checking to see if he wrote that he got one or was witnessing it. LOL

Whats more weird? The fact they think we are weird for throwing plastic around a park, or us thinking they are weird for getting it on in a park?

 

[Olorin]

"This course is appropriately named… because I wanted to commit suicide after about 6 holes;" by DSCJNKY on Suicide Flats
-This LITTERally made me laugh. For a good laugh you've also gotta read the graphic description that goes with "Poop before You Arrive" too. I can picture it. Gross!

 

[DSCJNKY]

^Thanks...
I'm especially proud of the Bathroom text I wrote. It took me a long time to get the wording exactly how I wanted it.
DSCJNKY

 

[sloppydisc]

I can vouch for Donovan. He would NEVER get a blowjob!

 

[Olorin]

Man, I wish I could remember who's review I read the other day that said the swore they saw a prostitute giving a blow job on one of the holes. I laughed my butt off and had to read it twice to make sure I wasn't misreading it.

Okay, a little search using the word "prostitute" found your course.
-DSCJNKY referred to activity he's seen in Amarillo TX in this post.
-Which led me to DSCJNKY's review of Thompson Park in Amarillo.

Case closed Watson.

 

[Danger]

You know, all this silly talk about Chavez Ridge being a gay hookup spot. . . . it may had been in the past but it is not anymore. I visit regularly, as do some of my buddies, and we have seen nothing going on there, ever.

I think its even more silly that you 'avoid it outright' because of it. Do you think they are going to ask you to join or something? Are you afraid of gay people? Please. Even if it was happening, I'm sure we would just laugh or something and move on. Cliff has a great course up there, no need to be avoiding it due to a past reputation.

Then again, maybe I like the fact that people avoid it. Have been going to Sylmar and OG a lot lately, and they are busy as hell. Was nice to get a quiet round in up at Chavez with only one other group playing.

 

[prerube]

Only one person has read my review, so I have to post my own, it is not the funniest review, but it sums up the course interestingly:

Cubby's Wet Dream

The course is addictive like a scratch off lottery ticket, everytime you get so close that you want to keep trying over and over....Playing this course is like beating Jessica Simpson in Jeopardy, it's fun at first, but eventually you will want a challenge.

 

[DSCJNKY]

.....I think its even more silly that you 'avoid it outright' because of it. Do you think they are going to ask you to join or something? Are you afraid of gay people? Please. Even if it was happening, I'm sure we would just laugh or something and move on......

People weren't laughing when the course was first installed. There were propositions made, naked dudes streaking the fairways, and moaning bushes.

And... I didn't completely avoid the place... as per my recent review of it. I just waited 4 years to play it.

And... according to my extremely trustworthy connections in So-Cal, they still do meet there... just not on the actual course anymore.

DSCJNKY

 

[NDABRUSH]

People weren't laughing when the course was first installed. There were propositions made, naked dudes streaking the fairways, and moaning bushes.

And... I didn't completely avoid the place... as per my recent review of it. I just waited 4 years to play it.

And... according to my extremely trustworthy connections in So-Cal, they still do meet there... just not on the actual course anymore.

DSCJNKY

Sounds like someone was working up a number 6.

 

[solomon.trenton]

Only one person has read my review, so I have to post my own, it is not the funniest review, but it sums up the course interestingly:

Cubby's Wet Dream

the title is my favorite!

 

[Jukeshoe]

This one by gordonbombay is pretty "crackin'," to put it in Champion's League Soccer parlance...

The entire course is flat. So flat in fact, it could probably get certified for the Americans With Disabilities Act.

 

[mrstiggy]

I think I have some that qualify in this review

http://www.dgcoursereview.com/reviews.php?id=1912&page=1&mode=rev#15341

 

[Olorin]

Wow, just wow! I normally dislike the hole by hole descriptions, but this one had me laughing, in a sad kind of way. I can just picture Opti getting hit by golf balls or dodging them! Now I'd like to visit the course just to see how bad this course is.

by Optidiscic on Hackett's Park

This is a possible round at Hackets:
Hole #1 Hit a car after my drive bounced off a tree into the street 10 feet away.
Hole #2 Got hit by a golf ball as I played through the established ball golf driving range and angered at busted basket
Hole #3 Continued to dodge golf ball drives and hurried my anhyzer drive into the thorn bushes behind the basket.
Hole #4 I can't find the tee oh its the spray painted line on the road....drive into thorn bushes directly next to basket on the right of basket
Hole #5 Boring short open hole
Hole #6 Short drive downhill decapitates old man jogging on walking path 2 feet behind basket.
Hole#7 I drive with golf balls screaming up my backside as I again am skirting the driving range, damn I hit another car cause the access road is directly next to the fairway
Hole#8 Another short drive with a very busy street as a backdrop and the access road bordering the right of the fairway....thwack damn another car.
Hole#9 Oh cool I get to throw into oncoming traffic on both sides of this fairway..awesome! Thwack another car!
Hole #10 Hmm I have a choice hit those children playing on the playground next to the basket or risk another shot into the access road. Thwack! OUCH Mommy! good I did not hit a car.
Hole #11 Another throw into an incoming road and the anhyzer actually promotes playing into the road. thwack!
Hole #12 Cool island fairway surrounded by access roads Yay! Thwack!
Hole #13 Hyzer with road bordering right of fairway and thorn bushes to the left...hmm choices...Thwack
Hole #14 wow what an awesome hill gotta be a 100 foot drop open green nothing there heres the tee and the basket is not down the hill but innocently over there across from me...maybe I can just throw down this fairway and empty my bag and go home instead! No I will finish it's gotta get better?
Hole #15 Holy Jungle Im bleeding wheres the tee wheres the fairway wheres the basket shoot wheres my disc.
Hole#16 cool as hell shot here but again the weeds have overgrown to over my head and its jack in the beanstalks looking for my disc...
Hole #17 awesome downhill drive tight through woods but again so overgrown unless your disc is 5 feet wide and bright orange your gonna lose it I am bleeding itchy and so pissed off
Hole #18 Thank god its finally over now I get to shoot halfway up that huge hill and walk up the huge hill to my car and go cry.....who builds a course and does not use the hugest hill except for a long nasty walk back to the lot..

Other Thoughts: I hope my dramatization has captured the essence of this course...It is perhaps the greatest piece of land being completely put to waste....It is comically sad. Final thought..Most of the holes have somehow managed to be both short and no fun and dangerous. Takes some kind of skill to design a course this bad on a prime piece of land like this.

This one just perfectly capped it off for me: "who builds a course and does not use the hugest hill except for a long nasty walk back to the lot."

 

[dgaficionado]

This line by Jungle Tim about Live Oak Park - Red made me laugh:

The trees are very very graby,it can be a bit like throwing a sweater in a velcro factory.

 

[Danger]

^ That one is great