Any advice for controlling emotions during a round?

[BigDiscEnergy]

Hey guys,

This is my first post on here so if this isn't the place to post please let me know.

I have an incredibly hard time controlling my emotions, even when playing a casual round. I am extremely competitive, so any time am not playing well, make an error, etc it throws my whole round off. Something as simple as throwing OB on an early hole will put me in a bad mood for the entire round, and I HATE that I'm that guy who isn't fun to play with because I am just mad all the time.

If anyone has any tips or advice on what to do to reign your emotions back in on the course I would really appreciate it.

 

[ChrisWoj]

Hey guys,

This is my first post on here so if this isn't the place to post please let me know.

I have an incredibly hard time controlling my emotions, even when playing a casual round. I am extremely competitive, so any time am not playing well, make an error, etc it throws my whole round off. Something as simple as throwing OB on an early hole will put me in a bad mood for the entire round, and I HATE that I'm that guy who isn't fun to play with because I am just mad all the time.

If anyone has any tips or advice on what to do to reign your emotions back in on the course I would really appreciate it.

Welcome to my world.

I think the biggest thing for me, over time, has been bringing myself into a place where I can acknowledge that my practice will carry me through. My reps and the time I've put in to understand the feel for my throw will settle me where I belong in the field. When I was a younger player I'd get fixated on "correcting" my mistakes during the round, instead of relaxing and getting back into my routine the next shot. I'd introduce a "systemic error" into my entire approach to the game by trying to avoid making the same mistake again. That'd feed the emotional frustration because I would have trouble comprehending why I couldn't "fix" the problem. It was like a feedback loop - more emotion, leading to being further off my routine, leading to more emotion....

The best thing, until you get that figured out, is to get plenty of warmup before any round you care about. Make all the mistakes related to slipping out of your routine or out of your form before the round, and then when the round starts you're prepared and comfortable with your entire approach to each throw.

My biggest problem remains getting out to competitive rounds without enough warmup and then needing a lot of holes to "make the mistakes" so that I remind myself where they could be made if I slip out of my routine. Sometimes I wind up finding my game by the time I'm halfway through and it all settles into place, but there are still occasions where I just don't get myself together emotionally and I wind up frustrated for 18 holes.

I've been playing for 15+ years now. I can comfortably say I've got the emotional thing beat about 95% of the time, but whew every few months I play a round where I'm just muttering to myself about myself for 18 holes and I've gotta tell my doubles partner (if its doubles) "dude you're good, I am absolutely happy with how you're playing, I'm just mad at me." lol

 

[HyooMac]

Have you received other advice at times about controlling your emotions? If so, revisit it here. Disc golf isn't really all that different.

The only thing I might be able to add is, that as a very competitive person, consider who/what you're competing AGAINST...

Even in my casual rounds with my fellow (very competitive) buddies, I try to remaining focused on "competing against" the hole (par), and against myself (did I play that as well as I should expect [not, by the way, as well as I possibly "could", or compared to the best-ever shot with that disc]).

I also try not to compare myself against "the perfect throw" in a given situation. 'Cause, I ain't perfect....

Compete against par.
Compete against your previous score.
Where you end up against other players will take care of itself.

That might settle you down a bit, or at least make you less of that guy who isn't fun to play with.

Most of all - do it quietly. Keep it to yourself.


Just my two cents.

 

[MarkDSM]

I use a version of 'Focus on the positive, eliminate the negative' and reviewing about priorities. I think about how far I have come throwing. Do some trashy holes really interfere with having a nice hike in a park? Is my frustration dicking up my socialization and conversations?

 

[txmxer]

Ideally you are focused on the next shot and not the previous one.

To that end, I think Woj had a good point about warmup time. I would also consider a mental routine prior to playing. Plan your response to events. Your going to have good throws and bad. You can choose how you respond to those events.

 

[Meillo]

The book ``Zen and the Art of Disc Golf'' has good advice for you. It's a matter of your perspective. If you want to change this aspect, then you need to find a different view angle on disc golf.

 

[BillFleming]

Well, crap....I think most people have that issue. It's tough to just let it go and move on. Most people say...one shot at a time, you can't change the shot you took so focus on your next one. But, I find that almost impossible. Instead, I take a moment to think about:
1. why it happened
2. could it have been avoided (some mistakes are beyond our control and just can't be avoided)...it it could have been avoided...
3. how to keep it from happening again

#2 is most important. If it couldn't be avoided, don't focus on it...stuff happens. For example, you have a putt but a tree is slightly in the way. You make your throw and the putter slightly hits a branch and gets deflected. Could it have been avoided? Yes. So #3 would be "I need to check my flight path to see if anything might be in the way, especially if my disc is offline".

Another example: you throw a driver from the tee pad. It flies on the line you wanted, but 200 feet out from the tee pad, it hits a small branch and gets deflected. Could it have been avoided? Maybe...could you see that branch from the tee pad? If not, then 'stuff happens' and accept it. If you could see it? Was it on your intended line? Or did the wind affect the flight enough to hit the branch? Again, you can't control how wind will affect your disc, you can play for it, but ultimately wind will do what it wants. If the branch was on your intended line....well, you could have avoided it by planning/making the throw better.

But the hardest part is just letting it go...either because you couldn't have changed anything or because you know what you did wrong and will plan better next time you are in that spot....it's still hard to just move on.

 

[biscoe]

Well, crap....I think most people have that issue. It's tough to just let it go and move on. Most people say...one shot at a time, you can't change the shot you took so focus on your next one. But, I find that almost impossible. Instead, I take a moment to think about:
1. why it happened
2. could it have been avoided (some mistakes are beyond our control and just can't be avoided)...it it could have been avoided...
3. how to keep it from happening again

#2 is most important. If it couldn't be avoided, don't focus on it...stuff happens. For example, you have a putt but a tree is slightly in the way. You make your throw and the putter slightly hits a branch and gets deflected. Could it have been avoided? Yes. So #3 would be "I need to check my flight path to see if anything might be in the way, especially if my disc is offline".

Another example: you throw a driver from the tee pad. It flies on the line you wanted, but 200 feet out from the tee pad, it hits a small branch and gets deflected. Could it have been avoided? Maybe...could you see that branch from the tee pad? If not, then 'stuff happens' and accept it. If you could see it? Was it on your intended line? Or did the wind affect the flight enough to hit the branch? Again, you can't control how wind will affect your disc, you can play for it, but ultimately wind will do what it wants. If the branch was on your intended line....well, you could have avoided it by planning/making the throw better.

But the hardest part is just letting it go...either because you couldn't have changed anything or because you know what you did wrong and will plan better next time you are in that spot....it's still hard to just move on.

That is waaaaaay too much thinking during a round. Save that stuff for afterwards.

Yes it is hard to just move on but that is the thing to do. Sometimes things are hard. Team sports teaches us all the wrong things to apply to golf. Read a golf book if need be- they all will give you basically the same advice just packaged differently- Golf is Not a Game of Perfect is my favorite by a long ways based mostly on readability.

At the end of the day your performance on the disc golf course is a trivial thing unless you are making a career of it- try not to let trivial things ruin your day.

 

[Armus Patheticus]

Most extremely competitive people have fundamental emotional sicknesses. You can't fix them as manifest in disc golf without addressing underlying problems.

The way you treat other people is fifty million times more important than how well you play disc golf. Get your values in order and your emotions will follow.

 

[HyooMac]

This reminds me that when I watch pros miss upshots and putts, many of them instantly "redo" their motion with no disc. The two five-time champs are great examples. It's like they're thinking: "Here's the right movement to get the outcome I wanted. Ok, move on." It's like they're instantly locking in the correction, and moving to the next shot. Such a great example of the mental game in action.

 

[BogeyNoMore]

At the risk of sounding a bit harsh, my simple answer to controlling emotions is,
"Grow the f*** up."

Do you blow up at work when things don't go your way? Probably not, or you won't be there very long. You may not like the situation, and might not even be able to do anything about it... but you deal with it the best you can because you have to.

Really shouldn't be any different on the course. You threw a bad shot. Assess the situation you now have, figure out what minimizes the damage, do it and move on.

Positive emotion can really help, but two things you need to do are be realistic in your expectations, and not dwell on the negative, otherwise it's over before you've finished.

 

[jenb]

If individual competition makes you feel this way then why do you do it? Do you feel this way when playing team sports?

 

[txmxer]

Ideally you are focused on the next shot and not the previous one.

To that end, I think Woj had a good point about warmup time. I would also consider a mental routine prior to playing. Plan your response to events. Your going to have good throws and bad. You can choose how you respond to those events.

I was on my phone when I wrote this, so, I'm going to expand on it now.

I've participated in all manner of sports. Mental preparedness is key to success. When I was in to martial arts, we discussed sparring as if it were a chess match. In that case, it's quick action/reaction that matters most and you are somewhat programming yourself to react without having to process the situation. Same goes for other sports be it individual or team.

What's being discussed here is just another aspect of the mental game and competitive sports. If you let your emotions get the best of you when competing it will lead to the opposite of the desired outcome. Spend some time thinking through your previous rounds where your emotions got the best of you. Think about what happened specifically and the thoughts that got in your head that created the emotions. Plan for/plant a different thought pattern that you will draw on when you are on the course.

You practice to create muscle memory to execute shots. Take some time to practice the mental side.

 

[ILUVSMGS18]

Welcome to my world.

I think the biggest thing for me, over time, has been bringing myself into a place where I can acknowledge that my practice will carry me through. My reps and the time I've put in to understand the feel for my throw will settle me where I belong in the field. When I was a younger player I'd get fixated on "correcting" my mistakes during the round, instead of relaxing and getting back into my routine the next shot. I'd introduce a "systemic error" into my entire approach to the game by trying to avoid making the same mistake again. That'd feed the emotional frustration because I would have trouble comprehending why I couldn't "fix" the problem. It was like a feedback loop - more emotion, leading to being further off my routine, leading to more emotion....

The best thing, until you get that figured out, is to get plenty of warmup before any round you care about. Make all the mistakes related to slipping out of your routine or out of your form before the round, and then when the round starts you're prepared and comfortable with your entire approach to each throw.

My biggest problem remains getting out to competitive rounds without enough warmup and then needing a lot of holes to "make the mistakes" so that I remind myself where they could be made if I slip out of my routine. Sometimes I wind up finding my game by the time I'm halfway through and it all settles into place, but there are still occasions where I just don't get myself together emotionally and I wind up frustrated for 18 holes.

I've been playing for 15+ years now. I can comfortably say I've got the emotional thing beat about 95% of the time, but whew every few months I play a round where I'm just muttering to myself about myself for 18 holes and I've gotta tell my doubles partner (if its doubles) "dude you're good, I am absolutely happy with how you're playing, I'm just mad at me." lol

Thanks for summing up what happens to me. I'll have to see if I can take this to the courses later when I play 2 rounds for the season ending tourney for league around here.

 

[Hank Scorpio]

If I'm struggling, either an unfortunate tree kick or an OB stroke, especially during the first round of a 2 or 3 round event, I tell myself that there's loads more golf and everyone (in my division at least) will have sticky patches and that this is mine and to come through it without letting it destroy the round. If I avoid any tough patches, I'm usually up toward the top of the division.

When things go wrong down the final stretch, it's usually a matchplay type scenario and it's a case of digging in and scrambling. Don't count your lead, keep playing relaxed golf.

Mental game on putting is another beast all together. Not got that nailed yet!

 

[Agricolae]

Hey guys,

This is my first post on here so if this isn't the place to post please let me know.

I have an incredibly hard time controlling my emotions, even when playing a casual round. I am extremely competitive, so any time am not playing well, make an error, etc it throws my whole round off. Something as simple as throwing OB on an early hole will put me in a bad mood for the entire round, and I HATE that I'm that guy who isn't fun to play with because I am just mad all the time.

If anyone has any tips or advice on what to do to reign your emotions back in on the course I would really appreciate it.

Instead of beating yourself up, focus on complimenting your card mates on their play.

 

[BigDiscEnergy]

Have you received other advice at times about controlling your emotions? If so, revisit it here. Disc golf isn't really all that different.

The only thing I might be able to add is, that as a very competitive person, consider who/what you're competing AGAINST...

Even in my casual rounds with my fellow (very competitive) buddies, I try to remaining focused on "competing against" the hole (par), and against myself (did I play that as well as I should expect [not, by the way, as well as I possibly "could", or compared to the best-ever shot with that disc]).

I also try not to compare myself against "the perfect throw" in a given situation. 'Cause, I ain't perfect....

Compete against par.
Compete against your previous score.
Where you end up against other players will take care of itself.

That might settle you down a bit, or at least make you less of that guy who isn't fun to play with.

Most of all - do it quietly. Keep it to yourself.


Just my two cents.

This is really helpful. I am going to focus on competing against par today during my round. Thank you

 

[B3NDER]

The thing that has always helped me stay level headed during disc golf (or really any walk of life) has been simply this:

Will I be doing myself any favors by getting upset with the outcome? No - no I will not.

By reminding myself of this seemingly simple train of thought, it has helped me immensely to stay focused on just enjoying myself and moving on with my round or whatever other task I may be performing.

Good luck to you.

 

[ThrowaEnvy]

Yeah if it gets in your head to the point where you are dwelling on it it will negatively impact the rest of your round, that's the kind of thing that starts a bogey avalanche! Here's a few couple quick things that have mostly been covered that I personally tell myself.

1. !!!!!!There's nothing wrong with par!!!!!!!
Sometimes you can run that long birdie but more often you will blow past and take a bogey.

2. One hole at a time.... You can't ever catch up for a bad hole, forget about it and play the next hole instead. Aggressive "I need to catch up" mentality will end up with risky behaviour and a higher score.

3. You are playing against yourself, other people just happen to be around. Know what to expect from yourself.

There's one hole here on the start of a 9 hole leg, #19. I've a thrown 1-5 strokes on it before, we play a lot of dubs, solo is a different game. It took me a few years but I play it for par or park and don't get bent out of shape when I miss the bird. It's kicked my ass a few times and beat me mentally expecting an ace or a birdie. It's a bad way to start a fresh 9

4. Focus on the good shots, don't dwell on the crap... and personally I prefer to have someone else keep my scorecard, I don't want to know. Lay down your round and let it go.

5. Get a grip! And by that I mean get a proper grip on the disc and check your motion with a practice swing. That's probably a me thing but that's where I go wrong.

I repeat my mantra in my head:
"One hole at a time, nothing wrong with par, get a grip"

 

[dndelli]

This is really helpful. I am going to focus on competing against par today during my round. Thank you

While I don't think I am quite as "overly competitive" as I used to be, I've found that doing this can be a double-edged sword. I tend to subconsciously press harder to make up "lost ground" if I make early mistakes, which in turn leads to more.

That's why I've been working on combining the concepts of competing with par with lowering my expectations/keeping realistic expectations. My best rounds are usually when I'm not fixated on getting birdies or throwing the perfect shots, but when I am just trying to throw clean shots and focus on the positives. On the flip side, I still often follow those rounds up with some absolute stinkers. So who knows?