• Discover new ways to elevate your game with the updated DGCourseReview app!
    It's entirely free and enhanced with features shaped by user feedback to ensure your best experience on the course. (App Store or Google Play)

Looking for Feedback

Chines

Par Member
Joined
Aug 16, 2013
Messages
190
Location
Lloydminster AB Canada
As this year started I decided I would start a blog with the focus being commentary on sports I am a fan of. This includes hockey, football, golf, formula 1 and of course disc golf. I am looking for some basic feedback to help develop my writing. It has been a few years since I have written anything so I am looking to refine. I have copied my first disc golf post and will link to the blog below. Obviously I would love it if people followed the blog but the purpose of this post is feedback. Thanks.

Disc Golf is booming.

I think one of the biggest signs of this is Discraft making a bigger push to gain ground in the market. With signings like Paul and Paige it is clear that they are looking to surge to the top and challenge Innova as the top dog in the manufacturer market. Discraft has, during my time in the sport at least, just always hung around when it comes to disc golf. They were quietly a big deal in the sport. In recent years the disc market has gotten way more competitive and companies have been pushing to challenge Innova more and more. In that time Discraft seemed to be content with their position in the sport. It was becoming clear though that they were losing ground to other companies like Dynamic Discs and Discmania. They were still a part of the conversation but were not growing at the same rate as other companies. Discraft investing more in the sport and taking a bigger interest in it is a clear sign of the growth.

Last season seemed to be the start of a major shift for the company with the signing of Paul McBeth. Love him or hate him he is the biggest name in the sport when it comes to players. He is disc golf's Tom Brady, Sidney Crosby and Lebron James. It was a surprise when he didn't re-sign with Innova and the speculation began as to where he would sign. My first thought was Trilogy, they seemed to be the obvious successor to Innova's throne at the time. Their meteoric rise was really interesting to watch and the list of players they had signed was really impressive. As the conversation progressed as to where Paul would sign I had a growing feeling that Discraft was the actual front runner. They were a company that was quiet giant in the sport. When the news came that Paul had signed with Discraft the reaction was awesome. As a person who loves conflict and drama, reading the comments on Reddit, DGCR and Facebook was great entertainment. It was the perfect filler in the down time before the season kicked off. There is no doubt that with the signing of Paul, Discraft had thrown their name back into the list of contenders for Innova's crown.

Fast forward a year and things seem to be shifting more and more towards Discraft. They signed Paige Pierce and all of a sudden they had the biggest names in both the MPO and FPO divisions. It was clear that they were not messing around in their pursuit of Innova. They were getting the exposure that they were not getting with Nate Doss and Michael Johansen. That is not a dig at those two players, I promise, but they didn't come with the clout that McBeth and Pierce brought to the table. They followed those moves up with probably the best signing ever. Brodie Smith. Cue some disc golf fans getting triggered.



The move isn't really a surprise to me because Brodie had a relationship with Discraft from his ultimate days. It's also a move that makes a lot of sense for Discraft. Brodie brings with him a huge following of people that don't necessarily follow disc golf or play the game. From the time that Brodie started doing videos with Paul and Simon I figured that it would contribute to the growth of the game. I am really interested to see how he does this year in tournaments. My feeling is that by the end of the season he will be challenging the top twenty in bigger tournaments and in a year or two will be hovering around the top. The guy is an athlete and having the ultimate background will help him as well. Don't forget that he also has two of the best in the game guiding and coaching him. I am of the mindset that moves like this are great for the game internally and externally. It gets rabid disc golf fans talking and arguing, creating more interest and investment in the game. It also brings a new demographic to the game. I am a strong believer that it takes love and hate in this day and age to grow something and make it successful.

Love it or hate it disc golf is growing and changing. The growing pains will continue to increase and I am interested to see how the community handles it. Either way the future of disc golf is looking good and I am all in.

https://www.rosegardensports.com/post/discraft-successor-to-the-throne
 
From an SEO standpoint, your paragraphs are a bit long, and the full names of Paul McBeth and Paige Pierce need to be in that early sentence, rather than just "Paul" and "Paige." The name "Brodie Smith" should appear in the first paragraph too. One more image to break up those first three paragraphs would help. One of Paul and Paige would be the obvious choice. The Twitter post of Brodie is in a good spot. The first sentence should start with the word "Discraft" and cut the "I think one of the biggest signs of this is," because we can assume that the example you are leading with is something that strongly supports your premise.

Nothing wrong with an article that starts by stating that disc golf is booming, but your article is about Discraft positioning themselves to dominate the market. That first thing we see: "Disc golf is booming," is a little bit disconnected from the premise.

You're a bit short on commas and a bit too passive in your voice. There are other grammar issues there, but if you put in some time and get more feedback you'll get better with it. I'm not the best with grammar myself, so I leave that to others.

Criticism aside, I like the argument you are making. Brodie is big for disc golf and Discraft is setting itself up to take over. So I'd say your challenges are with writing and SEO, and not with the thought behind your content.

Cheers, and bookmarked. Keep at it!
 

Latest posts

Top