I guess that I am lucky. People talking around me doesn't bother me. I just can't stand people moving around in front of me. I understand that a decent drive should not come close to them, but I occasionally grip-lock and having someone standing there increases the odds that I will do it.:doh: But that's really on me.
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Losing tolerance for bad courtesy
- Thread starter Hyzflip10
- Start date
Keller
* Ace Member *
The noise and talking don't bother me at all. I got over that early in my playing because I used to play with someone who brought their dog and he would run 30yrds up the fairway and bark waiting for the throw. Was annoying in the beginning, but I soon got used to it, heck, the only thing that might startle me is if someone fired a gun next to me when I'm driving!
The stoners and drunks do however bother me. Not because they're out having some fun, but it's the constant stopping at every other hole to fill another one, the telling people to pick up their beer cans and as the round progresses, the never ending time it takes to find peoples disc because they no longer pay attention, or because of the now snails pace of play, they simply forgot where their shot went.
And the last few times I played these types of rounds were at leagues and a tourney!
The stoners and drunks do however bother me. Not because they're out having some fun, but it's the constant stopping at every other hole to fill another one, the telling people to pick up their beer cans and as the round progresses, the never ending time it takes to find peoples disc because they no longer pay attention, or because of the now snails pace of play, they simply forgot where their shot went.
And the last few times I played these types of rounds were at leagues and a tourney!
Thank you for your honesty and candor. I agree with some of your points and disagree with others. Since it is a social event, nobody should be getting in any ones face, that isn't part of acceptable social behavior.
In the second round I felt no need for the headphones. Our group was respectful and courteous you each other. Yeah we busted chops, and there were distraction but it was easier to deal with with that crew.
I'm not sure what you mean regarding headphone clan. I find it a good strategy to deal with rude people who display unacceptable behavior on the course.
You do you, I'll do me. Shrug.
Talking on the tee is fully okay in my book on a doubles weekly round if you're playing for some token amount like $5-$10 per player. It's mostly a social event and if the money matters to you, why are you gambling it on a game where you're randomly paired with a partner who could be horrible? Makes zero sense to me.
It's also okay though to say "Hey guys, I appreciate no talking when I'm shooting." And, it shouldn't be a big deal for you to ask that and them to respect it.
I play with guys who routinely play music out loud that I hate, and I wouldn't play my music out loud out of respect for others, but I don't let it get to me as everyone's different and in social group events people don't always act like we want them to.
I think demanding and expecting competition-level silence during shots in that scenario is as unreasonable as being a jerk about it when someone asks for a bit of silence during their shot. It's just about being reasonable on both sides.
It's also okay though to say "Hey guys, I appreciate no talking when I'm shooting." And, it shouldn't be a big deal for you to ask that and them to respect it.
I play with guys who routinely play music out loud that I hate, and I wouldn't play my music out loud out of respect for others, but I don't let it get to me as everyone's different and in social group events people don't always act like we want them to.
I think demanding and expecting competition-level silence during shots in that scenario is as unreasonable as being a jerk about it when someone asks for a bit of silence during their shot. It's just about being reasonable on both sides.
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Not sure it's appropriate to be make fun of handicapped people, lol. As I described above, I at my music loud enough to hear, but not so loud to exclude myself from the group, as PDGA rules allow.
Unfortunately some people's personal vices and bad habits make it necessary to create a barrier between me and them. It's not on me to deal with someone else's drinking. I was never trained to do that.
That is very fair, thank you. I've been thinking about what really bothered me about this incident. I don't think it was the noise per second, it was just this guy in particular, and playing with drunk people in general.
This guy has been very rude to me and other people all season, all in the name of "just joking". He whines about other people good shots, has some remark about everything and is extremely loud all the time. I know it's not just me as others have made the same comments.
I do agree with you that it is not right to expect complete silence in a fun weekly league and as long as everyone is respectful there should be no problems.
Thank you for your feedback.
I was responding to ru4por, who I'm sure didn't intend to insult handicapped people. And I admit, I shouldn't generalize about headphone wearers; some manage it just fine. It's the portion of them that are disengaged, so caught up in whatever they're listening to that we have to constantly get their attention for routine things like scores, who are annoying.
On the one hand, it always strikes me as anti-social. "I'm playing with you, but keeping myself apart," is what the headphone wearer seems to be saying. On the other hand, I dislike people playing music aloud, so I'm thankful that they're keeping it to themselves.
And of course, we try to be tolerant of the range of preferences people bring to disc golf, unless we wish to play alone. And even more so in leagues, since people bring to them varying degrees of seriousness, on the scale between tournament play and very casual play. Those variances include distraction and consumption and rules compliance; we just have to work it out amongst ourselves, if we can, and the more civilly we try, the more likely that we will.
On the one hand, it always strikes me as anti-social. "I'm playing with you, but keeping myself apart," is what the headphone wearer seems to be saying. On the other hand, I dislike people playing music aloud, so I'm thankful that they're keeping it to themselves.
And of course, we try to be tolerant of the range of preferences people bring to disc golf, unless we wish to play alone. And even more so in leagues, since people bring to them varying degrees of seriousness, on the scale between tournament play and very casual play. Those variances include distraction and consumption and rules compliance; we just have to work it out amongst ourselves, if we can, and the more civilly we try, the more likely that we will.
I can see both sides. In a perfect world nobody would ever step outside of the normal tolerances. But when someone becomes so obnoxious and rude, it is perfectly normal to find a way to block it out. In this case I feel the anti social behavior originated with the loud drunk.
I'm not trying to be smart, but I'm not sure who you mean by "we". Are you speaking just for the leagues and events at your club or your neck of the woods. Because in my area, We have many people who use headphones in a variety of situations and it has never effected to my knowledge the ability to be part of the group. Its no different than someone wanting to light up a doobie on hole ten when not every one chooses to smoke weed during a round of disc golf. Or the guy who chooses to take a few shots during the round. We have no problem with that as long as it doesn't effect the rest of the group. when it does that is when things happen.
By "We" I meant all of us, everywhere, making compromises for the peace when we can. The issues that bother me may not be the issues that bother you, but yours are just as valid as mine.
agreed. That is why I tend to be a bit of a stickler for the rules and courtesy, even in a $10 buy in dubs league. That way no one feels screwed, put upon, or anything. The rules are there for a reason, they generally help to keep the peace so that no individual player has to carry that load. Its not purely a social situation. The second that cash goes into the pot it becomes something else.
Its kind of like the Kentucky Derby. It is fun to watch, but when you put that $2 bet down, you really want your horse to win even if you only take home $6. If people want a purely social situation they can get together with their buddies and play a casual round.
Noseph
Newbie
I've always thrown with loud people and dogs running up on the box so it doesn't affect me. However, I don't speak or move when someone is on the box or in a throwing motion.
If this is causing a distraction you can always gently remind everyone before the first tee that you like to have it quiet with no movement when you're throwing. Or say something like "I like to play casual rounds as prep for competitive play, so I'd appreciate it if no one spoke while I was throwing". Who can reasonably say no to that request.
OTOH I have a friend who will yell on the first box "Stop talking while I'm throwing!" or "Don't talk to my disc!" then turns around and will calmly smile on the first box right after he throws on casual rounds. Nobody makes a peep when he's up.
If this is causing a distraction you can always gently remind everyone before the first tee that you like to have it quiet with no movement when you're throwing. Or say something like "I like to play casual rounds as prep for competitive play, so I'd appreciate it if no one spoke while I was throwing". Who can reasonably say no to that request.
OTOH I have a friend who will yell on the first box "Stop talking while I'm throwing!" or "Don't talk to my disc!" then turns around and will calmly smile on the first box right after he throws on casual rounds. Nobody makes a peep when he's up.
But the rub here is, this is just your take. Drunk guy probably see leagues as something completely different and uses the activity for completely different reasons. If the league is not PDGA sanctioned, rules are kind of up to the league coordinator. The drinker is likely not breaking any rules. Hope you understand, I essentially agree with you, common sense and courtesy should not be so difficult. But, drinking guy very well might feel he should be able to come to leagues, get drunk, not care about his game and be free from some uptight, sober guy telling him how to act. And really, he has just as much of a right to feel that way. While this seems outlandish, it is really just a matter of perspective.
LMAO @ don't talk to my disc. I generally know when my disc is going to hit a tree even if my card mates don't so they can say whatever they want after it leaves my hand. We have a guy in our Saturday league who is famous for thinking his shots will end up poorly when they leave his hand, and they somehow find their way through every tree and end up parked.
Thank you for the feedback, very helpful.
Agreed 100%. And the league is on private property so it really is up to the course owner to make that determination in the end. I'm sure he wants to keep both of us as paying customers. I spend much money in the pro-shop on his discs so he puts up with my uptight-ness, and drunk guy spends much on league fees so he wants to keep us both happy. He and his wife are great people, have been in the game for almost 40 years, and run a great course. So when it comes down to it, it probably is a privilege for both of us to be playing his league. I really enjoy playing with him and the other "veterans" of the club and am always happy when I am on their card. I beat him sometimes he beats me sometimes, and we both hate losing, but at the end of the day we always have a good time playing.
Yup, I get it. I love playing tournaments with my MA50 crew. We have a great time. We have stuff to talk about, we have common life experience and a learned acceptance of things in life.
Yeah man just keep on learning and trying to figure out how to deal with bad situations... they can get in your head and take your game down.
I have a dear friend, a fine ambassador of the sport and who has started more people onto Discgolf in his 30?+ years. I love him dearly but God help me if I have to play with him. Aaaaaargh!!!!!!!
The disc is his talking stick, he advocates slow play, occasionally hires a caddy to pack his beer Cooler which he is very free with sharing. Clowns it up every chance he gets and is a very enjoyable person but entirely disruptive to my competitive game. I played with him in a tourney group, we came in an extra 30 min behind everyone else, at 25 min point the monsoon started. I dropped 4 strokes on last three holes, won by 1 but fricking cranky.
The flip side is I went to play Halloween glow golf after missing it for last 4 yrs.. People used to get dressed up, drink way too much and generally it was a fun epic mess. I went to play this year and it was too serious, too competitive and my shoddy Jamaican rasta dread toque was the only costuming out there.
In a weird way those people make it more entertaining and you miss them when they're gone. I even miss that time I got partnered with Bruce guy and he stayed up all night and tried to nap on the teepad every hole.. Haha we didn't win s***
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