Casey 1988
Shun the frumious Bandersnatch!
The Top Ten: How To Identify A Master By Scott Papa. (Modified for new audience)
10. the masters player carries more painkillers then discs
Darn near impossible for a Master player up on anyone. They carry Ibuprofen, acetaminophen, and others in Childproof bottles and can always be heard over the sound of creaking joints and moans caused by backache agony. The again, once they break into these bottles you've never met a happier bunch of guys.
9. They have a chance of shooting there age
When achieved this is fun. However, this window is a small one Youngsters with all the D have to shoot in the 20's to mid 30's Guys in the 40's have all the luck, and they need to take advantage of it while they still throw further then the putt. Okay so the Masters 60+ still have the same chance on most courses but we are talking under par for most of the courses.
8. They always have a better story of how great it used to be
No matter how great the course is or how awsome the day is, it is never as great as it was back in the day before you knew the sport. Not only that, but it will never be that way again- that is until the non master is the master or longtime player telling some younger player how great it was back in the heyday.
7. They do not throw as far as most under masters yet still beat them
Distance is overrated when you have the skills and savvy of an old guy.
6. When they offer advice, it maybe worth listening to
If a golfer makes time to talk to you about your game and has advice that actually makes sense you maybe talking to an oldster. After playing for many years and having made many of the mistakes possible, most of the Masters find it redeeming that someone will listen to their bits of wisdom. if you are smart you will make the most of it.
5. When they talk during and after a round, it is not all about disc golf
This might be hard for some discers, but there is actually life beyond the course. After a Tournament round Not only are they heading back out to play more, they are often not even talking Disc Golf. Families, jobs and other real life topics come up as if these people still read newspaper and listen to news. It is totally shocking and true.
4. They are Challenged in the hair follicle department
You have seen it all: The pony tail comming from the ring of hair below bald spot guy (Michel Johansen a bit early with this), Not really bald just shave the hair dude, and the worst dye the little hair on top cause I am hiding the fact I have gray hair and am loosing it. Now unless you are seeing Dave Greenwell or Johnny McCray (or my dad hair still dark brown at 58 as of November 16 without dying it) you are seeing more head then hair.
3. The only reason they change discs is, well they don't change discs
First off these masters on up have the nerve to carry about a third the discs you do unless David Feldberg. To make thingd worse most of those discs were discontinued or that plastic type was before most non masters ever started playing. The worst part of this to see is the breakdown that happens when that CE disc finally cracks. Hide your eyes and Save yourself.
2. they don't understand what you are saying.
Disc names like Corvette make them think you are talking about a car, and terms Patent Pending they know when it was called something else in the local area (not a master but in the early to mid 2000's it was the Ass Backwards or Bass Ackwards in my area until the Patent Pending too hold).
3. The masters play in the shade
Sure it may cost a few strokes, but sun worshipers they are not. They have done there time in the shade be it working or playing. Now they hang out in the shade. If this makes the next shot longer then so be it at least they are not sweating on hot days.
10. the masters player carries more painkillers then discs
Darn near impossible for a Master player up on anyone. They carry Ibuprofen, acetaminophen, and others in Childproof bottles and can always be heard over the sound of creaking joints and moans caused by backache agony. The again, once they break into these bottles you've never met a happier bunch of guys.
9. They have a chance of shooting there age
When achieved this is fun. However, this window is a small one Youngsters with all the D have to shoot in the 20's to mid 30's Guys in the 40's have all the luck, and they need to take advantage of it while they still throw further then the putt. Okay so the Masters 60+ still have the same chance on most courses but we are talking under par for most of the courses.
8. They always have a better story of how great it used to be
No matter how great the course is or how awsome the day is, it is never as great as it was back in the day before you knew the sport. Not only that, but it will never be that way again- that is until the non master is the master or longtime player telling some younger player how great it was back in the heyday.
7. They do not throw as far as most under masters yet still beat them
Distance is overrated when you have the skills and savvy of an old guy.
6. When they offer advice, it maybe worth listening to
If a golfer makes time to talk to you about your game and has advice that actually makes sense you maybe talking to an oldster. After playing for many years and having made many of the mistakes possible, most of the Masters find it redeeming that someone will listen to their bits of wisdom. if you are smart you will make the most of it.
5. When they talk during and after a round, it is not all about disc golf
This might be hard for some discers, but there is actually life beyond the course. After a Tournament round Not only are they heading back out to play more, they are often not even talking Disc Golf. Families, jobs and other real life topics come up as if these people still read newspaper and listen to news. It is totally shocking and true.
4. They are Challenged in the hair follicle department
You have seen it all: The pony tail comming from the ring of hair below bald spot guy (Michel Johansen a bit early with this), Not really bald just shave the hair dude, and the worst dye the little hair on top cause I am hiding the fact I have gray hair and am loosing it. Now unless you are seeing Dave Greenwell or Johnny McCray (or my dad hair still dark brown at 58 as of November 16 without dying it) you are seeing more head then hair.
3. The only reason they change discs is, well they don't change discs
First off these masters on up have the nerve to carry about a third the discs you do unless David Feldberg. To make thingd worse most of those discs were discontinued or that plastic type was before most non masters ever started playing. The worst part of this to see is the breakdown that happens when that CE disc finally cracks. Hide your eyes and Save yourself.
2. they don't understand what you are saying.
Disc names like Corvette make them think you are talking about a car, and terms Patent Pending they know when it was called something else in the local area (not a master but in the early to mid 2000's it was the Ass Backwards or Bass Ackwards in my area until the Patent Pending too hold).
3. The masters play in the shade
Sure it may cost a few strokes, but sun worshipers they are not. They have done there time in the shade be it working or playing. Now they hang out in the shade. If this makes the next shot longer then so be it at least they are not sweating on hot days.
