Wife says "Change hobbies…"

[Steve West]

Is disc golf SO male-oriented that no one has even thought of the only actual solution?

Get her hooked on it.

Duh!

 

[apparition]

She popped out three kids for you, man. She took your name. She left a lot of other good things to spend the rest of her life with you. It's good you're taking her seriously. I have two thoughts on this:

1) If I had three kids I probably wouldn't be disc golfing very much either. I don't have any kids, but once I do, I imagine my exercise/free time will be at home before the kids get up/before work and my free time fun will be with my kids and wife. Disc golf is way less important than family. What isn't? So, put dg on hold for a while.

2) Are you in trouble? Perhaps there's a deeper issue than just disc golf. Is your wife overwhelmed? Without getting into the situation a lot more, I would say take some time to show her how much she/family means to you. This likely isn't a permanent criticism. One cool "unbeatable hand" (poker), my wife told me about (she's a marital and family therapist) is for a husband-in-trouble to do something really nice for his family every single day for 30 days. However, that's more for a husband trying to save a marriage... Eff, I don't know dude, I'll ask my wife if you want me to. PM me if you want.

 

[mattc]

You can say I'll get you a nice diamond ring if you rethink that thought. Women always like diamonds.

Has she ever played before? Does she have any idea what disc golf actually is? If the answers are yes then she really needs to rethink what she wants out of you marriage.

Grab her a Lat64 Diamond it will be way cheaper!

^^^^^^^see first quote

I'd talk to her. I have no idea what it is like to have a wife that complains about the time I take to play disc golf (and believe me I play about 3 times as much as you do), but my wife also plays most rounds with me and is a 878 rated player.....she even out throws and out plays some of the people we play with. If you enjoy playing (and for god sakes if the kids like to play) then she should really figure out a way to compromise. Unless there are other reasons you're not telling us......like your ex girlfriend is disc golfer, or the hot neighbors backyard backs up to the disc golf course yada yada yada.

Is disc golf SO male-oriented that no one has even thought of the only actual solution?

Get her hooked on it.

Duh!

easy, get her out there with the kids to play, disc golf is great for family time.
(P.S. just dont tell her how or what to throw)

 

[Jay Dub]

...and let her beat you on a couple holes.

 

[markmcc]

2)Perhaps there's a deeper issue than just disc golf. Is your wife overwhelmed? Without getting into the situation a lot more, I would say take some time to show her how much she/family means to you. This likely isn't a permanent criticism. One cool "unbeatable hand" (poker), my wife told me about (she's a marital and family therapist) is for a husband-in-trouble to do something really nice for his family every single day for 30 days. However, that's more for a husband trying to save a marriage... Eff, I don't know dude, I'll ask my wife if you want me to. PM me if you want.

This. It sounds less about disc gold and more about time/attention/control. There are so many other more expensive and time-consuming hobbies than DG that it's hard to believe this is about getting a different hobby or "better" exercise. My wife doesn't play but she comes along with me about 50% of the time and enjoys the exercise and the scenery. I generally go to courses that aren't crowded and are in nicer park-like settings. What my wife doesn't enjoy is being on courses where a bunch of bros are drinking and dropping F-bombs every other word, so I avoid those when she's along. Come to think of it, I avoid them when she's not along too...

Try to figure out if something else is up with her & you.

 

[zrxchris]

Kitchen Pass

It was much easier for me to get a kitchen pass to play DG if I took all the kids
Get a wagon

These Amish wagons carried my 3 kids great and was nice for coursework

http://www.theberlinflyerwagon.com/index.php?dispatch=products.view&product_id=6

 

[zrxchris]

She popped out three kids for you, man. She took your name. She left a lot of other good things to spend the rest of her life with you. It's good you're taking her seriously. I have two thoughts on this:

1) If I had three kids I probably wouldn't be disc golfing very much either. I don't have any kids, but once I do, I imagine my exercise/free time will be at home before the kids get up/before work and my free time fun will be with my kids and wife. Disc golf is way less important than family. What isn't? So, put dg on hold for a while.

2) Are you in trouble? Perhaps there's a deeper issue than just disc golf. Is your wife overwhelmed? Without getting into the situation a lot more, I would say take some time to show her how much she/family means to you. This likely isn't a permanent criticism. One cool "unbeatable hand" (poker), my wife told me about (she's a marital and family therapist) is for a husband-in-trouble to do something really nice for his family every single day for 30 days. However, that's more for a husband trying to save a marriage... Eff, I don't know dude, I'll ask my wife if you want me to. PM me if you want.

Good advice.
I have had similar problems and it was more about me not being selfish than the actual disc golf activity. If I want to go to a tourney she is stuck with 3 kids all day, you have to make sure you are doing what you should be doing. She should have same opportunity to have kid free days.

For local play take all the kids with you. If your honey do's are caught up then she should be cool with you going if you bundle the kids with the activity. Also then much easier to request the occasional solo round

GET A WAGON!!

 

[hempies]

Looks like there might be a lot of glow rounds in your future....after you've helped out around the house and put the kids to bed....

 

[tonyroberts]

With kids ages 1, 3, and 5, your wife is probably starved for adult company and conversation. Hence, she resents it when you spend your free time discing. She wants you home more to provide her with some adult companionship and/or take the kids off her hands for awhile. She may very well need a hobby of her own, or at least some time away from home and the kids with some friends. She needs a mental health break as much as you do. Work it out together how you can each get some time off to play and recharge. A young couple with three kids won't have a lot of free time so you have to figure out a way so that each of you can make what time is available count.

 

[B3NDER]

Sure, first it'll be give up disc golf....

what's next? No more beer or sports games on tv?

 

[Nemmers]

Simply sounds like she is jealous and feels left out, you are out having fun and she isn't. I would tell her she better get use to it because it's not changing. This is your hobby, not hers.

I agree. Sometimes women -- and I'm not passing judgment, just speaking extemporaneously -- don't like it when they know their significant other <*gasp!*> has fun without them. I'm sure it's probably a jealousy issue; she's jealous you have something you enjoy with or without her.

If I were you, I'd say: "Look, I'm not out until all hours of the night drinking with loose women and hanging out with men of questionable morals. I'm playing disc golf, which I've invited you to play with me. It's cheap, it's fun, and it doesn't take a lot of time. After all, I only play twice a week....it's not like I'm out every single day, ignoring you and the kids and shirking my responsibilities at home. So unless you have a concern that you haven't raised yet -- like your dad was beaten to death with a disc golf bag full of 180g Rocs and you have a psychosomatic aversion to the game -- then you need to give your whining a rest. Or at least give me a reasonable argument as to why you think I should cool it with disc golf. Until then, my 'exercise routine' (regardless of how useless you think it is) is not going to change."

Just my two cents, brother, but sometimes giving them a little perspective is all it takes.

 

[Old Dog]

If I were you, I'd say: "Look, I'm not out until all hours of the night drinking with loose women and hanging out with men of questionable morals. I'm playing disc golf, which I've invited you to play with me. It's cheap, it's fun, and it doesn't take a lot of time. After all, I only play twice a week....it's not like I'm out every single day, ignoring you and the kids and shirking my responsibilities at home. So unless you have a concern that you haven't raised yet -- like your dad was beaten to death with a disc golf bag full of 180g Rocs and you have a psychosomatic aversion to the game -- then you need to give your whining a rest. Or at least give me a reasonable argument as to why you think I should cool it with disc golf. Until then, my 'exercise routine' (regardless of how useless you think it is) is not going to change."

Just my two cents, brother, but sometimes giving them a little perspective is all it takes.

:clap::clap::clap::clap:

So... where should we send the flowers?

 

[JedV]

No practical advice to share... But good luck, I rue the day that this happens to me.

To quote the Mail Man on the Big Bang Theory:

Got your back Jack, Bitches be crazy!

 

[wkelly42]

My wife is NOT a disc golf fan. She bought me my starter set for Fathers Day a few years ago, and has often said she regrets it. That is UNTIL:

About a year ago I almost collapsed. While preaching. On Sunday morning. All indications at the time were heart attack. Rushed to hospital, stress tested -- not heart attack. Doctors said I was VERY tolerant of exercise, according to the stress test.

She attributes this to my disc golf. She still doesn't like it, and will not be playing any time soon, but whenever I have the time, she's fine with me playing.

Let your wife know that the exercise IS there, and it's a decent cardio, especially if you play solo rounds (less waiting between shots).

 

[zrxchris]

Married no kids..you can live the discing life of leisure.
Gotta learn how to compromise.
You'll get more golf in when the kids are young.
Mine got bored of mudpies at the creek ABD if the course doesn't have a sweet playground, they won't
Even consider it....

 

[timj5304]

I will say a couple things, I notice alot of the guys I know who play disc golf and happen to play every day are SINGLE. Its easy to say change the woman and so on but these single dudes are single for a reason because at the same time they are the selfish guys themselves. I guess I am a lucky guy because I do not put up with bossy behavior but I do encourage her to have her own hobbies such as karate and coaching U-12 girls hockey. She doesnt play alot of disc golf but at the same time she does play probably 10-20 times per year, mainly short and easy courses. She should enjoy being a part of things you enjoy just as you should make efforts for her things. I notice trends out there with guys and women who do not make legit effort to make things work. I do also know of guys who say they will be home at a time and just plain are late all the time, missing family stuff you committ to does not help your cause if you are missing that stuff.

[youtubehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2euJG0sfhYk[/youtube

 

[Jukeshoe]

Do what you want to do, remember love knows no conditions.

:thmbup:

 

[delaveagabeast]

My wife wanted me to stop smoking, easy enough, made her happy and I'm happy to sacrifice something for that. She never has been 'really' into disc golf, but I can get her out to the longer courses if we pack a nice picnic for mid round.

There was a point my wife didn't like me playing, but I explained all of the reasons I enjoy it (exercise, meeting new people, scenery, wild life, something to do, cheap, self-improvement, stress relief from work, etc) and now she supports me playing it. It can be hard at times, we don't have kids but my wife doesn't have too many hobbies, but it's a work in progress~

Either way, if your wife absolutely hates disc golf, I would try to communicate first, if that doesn't work I would stop playing for her or come to some kind of agreement that will let you play once or twice per week.

 

[Stoney J]

unless it is a glow round during the summer.

We're supposed to wait until summer to play glow rounds????
OOOPS!!!!

 

[TxViper3187]

I dont wait at all...but keeping a 5 year old up after dark works best duting Summer when they can sleep in. I dont have the weekends available to take them with me due to shift work on the weekends.